


Hunter x Adventure

by jesterthings



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst and Humor, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Get Gon an ice cream, Gon is in his feels, He's not as creepy in this one, Hisoka has unresolved trauma, Hisoka learns how to love, Hisoka's Bungee Gum Nen Ability (Hunter X Hunter), Leorio appreciation, OOC Hisoka, They all need hugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:14:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29557557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesterthings/pseuds/jesterthings
Summary: Gon and Hisoka embark on an adventure to get Gon's nen back.------NOT HISOGON------Sorry if anything is inaccurate to the original storyline of how Gon lost his nen, I haven't read the manga but I did watch the anime.-------STORYLINE START:This is set a while after Gon got healed. To get healed he had to get rid of all that unwanted nen otherwise he could die with something as simple as a wrong move. He went back to Whale Island to study since he felt his adventure was over and things begin there.Also Leorio appreciation.-------This'll be hard to write for me because I'm going to try my best not to make it angsty---------Hisoka is my favourite character to write but he might be a little OOC, I'll try my hardest to make him his usual self though!---------
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Hisoka, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Hisoka & Leorio Paladiknight, Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 7
Kudos: 30





	1. Gon × Makes × Deal

It wasn't fun to wake up anymore. There was always that short little spark of happiness when reality still hadn't set in when morning came, that excitement to go out and adventure with Killua and the others. But it wasn't like that now. When he realised it, he didn't bother getting up and instead just waited for Aunt Mito to call him down for breakfast. 

Killua sometimes didn't answer his texts for long periods of time and it worried him, but his friend would come back a few weeks later and tell him everything was okay and that he had either lost his phone or was busy exploring with Alluka. 

He was bored. 

That was the issue. 

Today, just as any other day, Gon stood once he heard Aunt Mito's voice and got dressed quickly, dragging himself downstairs and slumping into a chair. 

"You don't go outside much now, Gon." 

"Yeah." Gon muttered, poking at his cereal with a spoon. 

"Why don't you go try to catch the master of the swamp again..?" Aunt Mito questioned. 

"Okay." 

Gon felt he shouldn't complain. He didn't have the right to. It was his fault he lost nen, his fault alone, nobody else's.. He chose to go back to Whale Island. He wasn't safe doing normal Hunter tasks because he couldn't use nen. But it was his fault. It was his fault and he couldn't do anything about it. 

He stood and started to leave, grabbing his fishing rod which was by the door and beginning to walk to the large tree near by. 

He jumped up and perched himself on one of the branches, the line being thrown into the water. 

He waited for a while until he felt a tug, and so he pulled. It was too strong and he was shot forward a little, to prevent himself from falling he wrapped his fishing rod around the tree and swung himself, watching as the hook pulled up the master of the swamp. 

Nobody really payed attention as they had seen him do this once before, except for one. 

There was a quiet clap right below the tree, and an all too familiar voice. 

"Very impressive, Gon!~" 

Gon hopped down, yanking his fishing line back and stared at the clown in front of him. 

"Why are you here?" 

"Oh that's no way to greet a friend!" Hisoka rose a hand to his chest, an offended expression on his face. 

"Friend..?" Gon frowned. 

"I come to you as a friend today, sadly not an opponent.. For now.~" 

"I heard that you lost your nen, is that true?" 

"Why should I tell you?" The boy stepped back. 

"Because I have a proposal.. Lets say I help you get your nen back.. When you do, you'll fight me." Hisoka smiled. 

"And if I don't?" Gon sighed. 

"Well if you don't want to accept my proposal I'll leave and you can stay bored here.. But if you accept and don't fight me when you get it back, then I'll kill you." Hisoka glanced to the side. "There is surely a way to get your nen back, so I can guarantee that you'll have it by the end of our 'adventure.' How's that?" 

"Okay." The greenish-black haired boy murmured. 

"I accept." 

"Wonderful!~ I'll see you at the ships.. Tomorrow at 7 AM." Hisoka wavered a ticket in his hand, pointing to the name. 

"Don't miss it, I'm impatient and I won't wait if you're late. You have one chance, Gon. Don't blow it.~ I still want to see you ripen." He began to walk off. 

"Wait!" Gon said quickly. 

The other turned his head slowly, looking unamused. 

"Can you- see my nen at all?" 

"You'd be dead if you didn't have any left." The clown hadn't answered the question, but Gon supposed that meant that he could see it, so he was happy with those words and started to run back to the house to tell Aunt Mito the news. 

\----------

"You're.. Leaving again." 

"Right! But- I'll be safe! I'm with someone who's pretty strong so-" Gon was cut off. 

"Are you sure about this, Gon?" 

"Yeah!" 

"Fine. On one condition." Aunt Mito furrowed her eyebrows. 

Gon awaited the next sentence, dreading that it'd be something as impossible as 'being back by dinner time.' 

"Your work has to be finished by the time you come back." She handed him a pile of papers. 

"Deal!" Gon grinned and ran upstairs to go pack his bags, not giving her anymore time to say something else. 

He was going to have fun, whether they liked it or not. School work could not stop him. 

He missed going on adventures, and he wasn't going to pass on this opportunity, even if it meant having to go with someone as untrustworthy as Hisoka. 


	2. Hisoka × Tries × Hatsu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon gets on the ship and tries to get Hisoka to use the method Master Wing used.

Gon's eyes shot open as he sat up. Today was different. Today he truly was excited, although there was that little pinch of fear due to having to travel with well- _Hisoka_ out of all people.. But it was an adventure nonetheless! 

He brushed his teeth, took a shower, and got dressed. 

"I can't wait!" He whispered, throwing his bag over his shoulder and running downstairs to make some toast for himself. 

It was 5 AM. 

He had two hours. 

He shoved the piece of toast into his mouth and ran outside, stopping to breathe in the fresh air that hadn't felt this good since he returned. 

He just hoped he'd get his nen back soon.. He was behind everyone now. Killua was better off without him. He wasn't strong enough to be with the others right now. He would be useless and Leorio was busy too even if he wasn't doing hunter work. 

"This isn't the time for feeling bad, I need to focus on getting to the ships!" Gon cut his thoughts off and began to run, making his way to the docks as the rays of the sun began to light his path, painting the ground beneath his shoes. 

He arrived about an hour and a half later, his feet skidding against the dirt. His eyes lit up as he saw the ticket stall in front of the ships. He skipped up to it and waited for the line to finish so he could ask for a ticket. 

"Hi! I'd like a ticket for.." His mind flashed back to the one Hisoka was holding. 

"The ship called Lily."

"You sure you got enough money, kid?" The man glanced down, unamused as if what Gon had said was a joke. 

"Huh? How much is it?" Gon frowned. 

"50,000,000 Jenny."

Gon's eyes widened. 

"U- Uhm, I-" 

He brought his Hunter License along but he hated using it. He felt he wasn't qualified now. 

"He's with me." Came a low voice from behind.

A pale hand placed two tickets onto the counter and watched as the man checked them. 

"Aight', hurry along. The queue's not that big yet."

"Come on, Gon." There it was, that stupid cat-like grin from the one and only, Hisoka Amorou. 

Gon followed along, keeping track of where Hisoka was since he was the only one with bright hair and odd clothes out of most of the crowd. 

When they got onto the boat, Hisoka lead him to one of the rooms, his keys dangling in the air. 

Probably Bungee Gum. 

"I'll pay you back-" Gon began. 

"All I need is a fight. No money." Hisoka glanced down, unlocking the door. "Although it'd be kind of you, it'd take a very long time."

"Where are we going anyways..?" Gon frowned, entering the room. 

"Somewhere." A cryptic response, like always. 

There were two beds, both against opposite sides of the wall. It wasn't really what Gon wanted but Hisoka was doing him a favor so the least he could do was bare with sleeping in the same room as him. 

At least they didn't have to sleep in the same bed, luckily even Hisoka had standards and picked this out specifically for the reason he didn't want his toy to be too uncomfortable. Although he was still going to mess with him of course, it was in his sociopathic nature to do so. 

Hisoka slumped onto his own bed and watched with curiosity as Gon did the same, placing his bag down and staring intently at the contents inside. 

"What did you do?"

Hisoka chuckled to himself and handed Gon his actual bag, the other one just being a cereal box covered up with Texture Surprise. 

"You're no fun to play with, Gon."

"Are you gonna do weird stuff?" Gon frowned. 

"How rude. ♤"

"Are you hungry at all, Gon?"

The boy glanced down and flinched when his tummy rumbled, like in cliche cartoons. He turned his head to look at Hisoka and nodded. 

"Have you eaten at all today, Gon? ♤"

"I ate some toast..?" The green-haired boy tilted his head. 

"That won't do. Come on Gon, I believe there's somewhere to get food around here." Hisoka stood and held his hand out for Gon to hold if he wished. Of course the boy declined but followed along anyways since he was starving. 

"Why do you keep saying my name?" Gon asked, though his tone implied that he didn't really mind and just wanted conversation to keep going, perhaps to distract himself from his own thoughts. 

"What do you mean, Gon..? ♡"

"See, you just did it again!" 

"Oh.. I apologize. Is it annoying, Gon? ♤"

"No.." Gon didn't have the heart to insult him right now because he genuinely wasn't that sort of person, even if Hisoka had done strange things in the past he had still done nice things so it balanced in the boy's eyes. Plus he was quite clueless when it came to people's morals and even his own.

"I will try to tone it down a little. ♧" Hisoka smiled. 

"Okay, but you don't need to." Gon glanced up for a moment to inspect the clown's features. 

"Mmm.. Kay. ♢"

"Oh! The food place is around here somewhere." Hisoka stopped to look around. 

"Hm." He began to walk again, turning back to see if Gon still was following every now and then. 

"Nobody's here yet because.. Well it's still morning. It's a buffet, I believe everything was payed off in the ticket so you can take as much as you wish." Hisoka said when they arrived. He slowly grabbed two plates, handing one over to Gon. 

"As much as we want?!" Gon gasped with a beaming smile. 

"That's right, Gon. ♡"

They both wandered over to the stalls and started to pick out things they wanted, Gon walked out with two plates in the end. 

"Are you sure you'll be able to eat all of that? ♤"

"Is that a challenge?" Gon raised an eyebrow, excitement stirring up inside of him again. 

"Do you want it to be, my fruit? ♢"

The boy shivered at the nickname but his mood sprung back up again at the question. He nodded happily and they quickened their pace to the room. 

"Lets say you finish that in less than.." Hisoka began. 

"Five minutes!" Gon cut him off. 

"Oh...? Alright then. ♢"

"Your prize is a surprise."

"Kay!" Gon cheered, arriving at the room. 

They both sat down and Hisoka started a timer.

\---------

"Waaah! I'm so full!" Gon fell back into the mattress. 

"I told you. ♤" Hisoka rolled his eyes. "But you did it in under than 5 minutes, Gon. ♡"

Okay.. Perhaps this wasn't as bad anymore and Hisoka was sort of behaving himself? 

Either way, Gon was having fun. 

"Close your eyes, Gon."

"No way!" The boy crossed his arms. 

"Mm... Well. You should get some rest, prize in the morning. ♡"

"Okay.." Gon sighed. 

They went quiet for a while and Gon was wondering what was up, Hisoka was constantly talking-- and he'd especially take up the chance if it was Gon.. So why wasn't he? 

Truth be told, the boy was still rather uncomfortable with the idea of having to sleep with Hisoka around but he couldn't do much to prevent that. He was just glad he didn't have to deal with the other's aura which funnily enough still scared him. 

His vision roamed over to where Hisoka was, and he was surprised to see that the clown was most likely working on his aura. He was sitting calmly with a soft expression, devoid of his signature smirk but then again, it still looked like he was smiling since the corners of his mouth curved up naturally. 

He was working on ten. 

It was a rare sight, to see Hisoka so still. Usually he'd be restless, itching for a fight. Gon never thought about the fact that Hisoka must've trained a lot to have his aura reach the point it was at. 

"Hisoka."

"Hm..?" The clown didn't open his eyes. 

"Can you try to use hatsu on me?" Gon frowned. 

Hisoka's eyes opened. "To get your nen back? That's rather dangerous, Gon. But then again.. I don't see why not." He grinned. 

"Stand up, Gon."

The boy stood. 

"Turn around.." Hisoka started to ready his hatsu. 

"But you're creepy." Gon mumbled. 

"It's safer this way, Gon. I don't want to break your face now, do I?~"

Gon shivered and turned around. 

"Kay.. Get ready.~"

He felt a burst of energy slam against his back, resulting in him stumbling forward and gasping for air. 

"So..?" Hisoka cocked his head to the side. 

"It didn't work.. Try again." Gon coughed out. 

"No. ♤"

"What do you mean, no?" The boy hissed, still coughing. 

"I don't want to ruin my _toy_ yet." Hisoka stared as Gon collapsed, unable to withstand that much power for the time being. 

"Get some rest. I'm not trying that again so soon. ♤" Hisoka walked to the door slowly, opening it and slipping out as if he was never there in the first place, leaving Gon to have no choice but to get some rest, or follow him out. 

He sort of hoped he'd stay in the room, as much as he wanted to play with his toy some more he needed to leave him alone for now. 

"I'm doing so well and I haven't even gotten a thank you from my favorite fruit. ♤" Hisoka boasted as he say on the fence of the boat, watching waves crawl against the sides. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So creepy, Hisoka. 
> 
> Sorry this took long, I was trying to not make it as short as the other chapter, but I'm hoping to keep this book going! 
> 
> So the next chapter will be out soon.
> 
> Lets hope Hisoka starts treating Gon like a person instead of a punching bag at some point. 😀


	3. Destination × Is × Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka tries to comfort Gon in his own way.

Gon was drowning himself in heavy thoughts, his lips pursed as he tried to figure out why Hisoka didn't just try a second time. Didn't he _want_ to kill him anyways? If he died on the second time it would be a win for that idiotic clown. 

A little part of him was trying to tell him that Hisoka didn't wish for that outcome, that he wasn't that cruel, that he didn't do it to protect him. But of that, Gon was doubtful. 

Hisoka was awaiting his _fruit's_ growth. He was awaiting for his _toy_ to get fixed so that he could break it all over again and leave it in parts. But Gon was naive and truly believed he could surpass Hisoka if only he got his nen back. 

And he could if he was at his full potential, but doing a stunt like that again would guarantee death. He was aware of as much as that. Ignorance was bliss but now that Gon's eyes were opened to the real world of what a covenant as deep as what he had done could do, he wasn't planning on trying it again. 

In the moment he hadn't thought his words over. He was focused on one thing and one thing only causing him to make a mindless decision at the cost of using his life energy. 

It was _his fault._

_His fault._

**_His fault._ **

**_His fault._ **

"There's no denying it. I caused this." Gon whispered, his eyes growing dark. He felt he had brought this upon himself and now it was his job to try and fix it.. With the help of the clown of course. 

And that was exactly who he was going to go to. He had noticed Hisoka was always carefree- well mostly, and usually thought not about the past but of what was happening at that moment. Oftentimes he lived in the future too, fantasizing about what opponents he'd get to challenge next. 

Gon cursed himself as he stood, his back still aching and his mind racing. Perhaps asking the magician for advice was a terrible idea but he was willing to take anything at this point. 

He opened the door slowly and stepped onto the more open part of the boat, suspecting that Hisoka would be by the water or somewhere up high. The clown liked to take risks, Gon knew that. 

And there he was, sitting on the railing with a distant look on his face. One may even think he was experiencing sorrow, an emotion that would seem unbeknownst to someone such as him. 

"Gon. Have you thought it over?" Hisoka had already sensed him coming, it surprised the boy but he quickly calmed since this was something the clown usually did. 

"Aren't you scared of falling?" Gon murmured sternly. 

"Not at all. ♡" Hisoka smiled, patting the spot besides him, offering a place to sit which Gon swiftly declined. 

"Have you ever been scared at all?"

"Are you scared, Gon? It seems you're coming to me for advice.. Am I correct? ♤"

"Answer my question first." The boy crossed his arms, though it wasn't very threatening since he was very small compared to the clown. 

Gon actually didn't expect Hisoka to answer though. He was waiting for a playful reply, but the magician gave it to him straight. 

An answer he did not expect either. 

"Many times. ♢"

"How did you.. Overcome your fears?" Gon was taking a risk with this question. He'd be lucky if Hisoka didn't decide to shut him up and send him back to the room. 

And lucky he was. 

"How interesting, my little fruit truly is looking for advice, hm?~ Well I'm feeling rather kind today. ♡"

"I suppose we all become troubled at young ages if we are let into the world the wrong way. ♤"

"Were you.. Alone?" Gon whispered, frightened to even quiz the clown. 

"You are a smart little boy, aren't you?~ It seems I haven't grown from my habits of solitude. But then again, we must all find what makes us comfortable. ♧"

"Aren't you cold?" The boy noticed the wind was running rough, a storm would likely come soon. 

"That I am. ♤"

"Come here, Gon."

"Do I have to?" Gon winced. 

"Just come closer, I won't push you off or anything." Hisoka rolled his eyes, but grinned once Gon walked next to him, not daring to sit on the rails though. 

The clown slipped off the rails and closer to Gon, crouching down beside him so that he could match his height. 

"Lesson one from Mr Amorou, learn to focus on what is not behind you, but in front of you." He turned Gon's head to face an Island close by. 

"If you overthink too much the boat will sink because of the rocks on your shoulders. Cut yourself some slack and get some rest. You'll need it for when we reach our destination in the morning. ♡" He slowly held his hands away and stood. 

Gon didn't know when Hisoka had learnt to be so 'kind' if this was considered to even count as such. He was still as- creepy as ever but it seemed he was attempting to be soft on the boy. 

Gon watched Hisoka walk away with a smirk, so he quickly spoke before the other could get too far. 

"Thank you!" 

"Mmh. No need..~ ♧" Yes of course the magician had expected a thanks from his _fruit_ , but upon receiving it he mostly felt proud. Not of himself but of Gon. He didn't want to dwell on what had happened that night, but he definitely understood the boy since he had once been in his shoes, so perhaps that aided in his wanting to stop him from feeling so down. 

Being proud of someone other than himself was a strange feeling but maybe he'd grow to like it.

Though it was likely he'd forget this ever happened as time passed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, Hisoka is treating Gon like a person and is slightly proud of him (And he was more proud than Ging so I consider that an achievement.) 
> 
> He's likely going to keep acting stoic for a while longer after this chapter, this was just a nice moment that I thought would help Hisoka grow as a character and stop treating everyone like his toys, while also aiding Gon in his understanding that he needs to move on eventually and focus on a new beginning. 
> 
> We will hopefully get some insight on why Hisoka acts the way he does in later chapters, but for now they need to focus on their current troubles and maybe even meet someone familiar to them both. 
> 
> A certain doctor perhaps..?


	4. Gon × Gets × Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon runs off into a forest out of curiosity and ends up almost getting eaten.

Gon awoke bundled in warmth, he snuggled further into the heat of whatever was covering him and smiled softly, currently allowing the smell of fresh air infiltrate his senses. The window in their room must be open.. But Gon didn't remember going back to their room last night. He opened his eyes quickly, yelping as he was met by a clown at his side. He shuffled back, sweating and nervous as if he had just seen a ghost. 

"Were you watching me sleep?!"

"It's quite entertaining, yes. You were just talking about carrots trying to ride pieces of bread. ♢" Hisoka smiled, getting off his knees and stepping back.

"That's creepy! Don't do that!" Gon whined. Perhaps this trip wouldn't be as enjoyable as he thought. He glanced down and noticed he had been covered in a stack of blankets. 

"What's all this? How did I get here? I didn't go back to-"

"Gon, please do calm down. I simply carried you back and covered you because you had mentioned I was cold. I assumed you would be too, no? ♤"

"You had fallen asleep on the deck."

"D- Did you-" Gon trembled. 

"Goodness, no. ♤" Hisoka looked rather insulted. "Go get yourself changed, we're already here." He walked out of the room. 

Gon waited, listening as his footsteps faded down the hall. Hopefully he'd be patient enough to let him gather his thoughts too.

\---------

Gon skipped happily towards the steps leading off the ship, he couldn't spot Hisoka at the moment but he had a feeling the clown would find him eventually. _He always did._

He thanked the people by the stairs and rushed off onto the docks, admiring the large city before him. He started to make his way to the pathway that seemed to lead through the thick forest and to the main square of the city. 

Hisoka would find him if he got lost. 

Hopefully. 

His feet treaded against the rocks, fishing rod in hand. He knew how to fight, he just wasn't that strong right now. A little exploring wouldn't hurt, he needed to clear his mind right now anyways. 

He came to a halt once he heard the sound of running water and chirping. He turned to face the source of the noise and saw more trees so he began to make his way past them to find where the water was coming from. 

He felt excitement stirring up inside of him as he neared the lake, watching the waterfall glide itself into it. He spotted a cave by it so he went to go see what was inside, perhaps he could show Hisoka some cool bugs when he found him! 

Gon approached the large cave and stepped inside, tracing the walls with his fingers. He stopped once he found a cool looking beetle and held it up in triumph. 

Until he heard a loud noise and saw a large tongue reach towards him. He rolled to the side and sunk down as he noticed the large angry eyes. 

Where was Hisoka when he needed him?! 

"I- It's fine! It's fine." He whispered to himself, ready to get his fishing rod out as he saw the tongue of the monster. But he had left his bag outside. 

"Jan-" He almost forgot he didn't have his nen. He couldn't do a thing, he felt pathetic and useless but-

This wasn't what Hisoka had expected of him. The clown only kept _toys_ if they had potential or looked promising to him, him having taken Gon on this adventure of sorts had to mean something. 

Gon gathered his courage and scrambled out of the cave, yelping as the tongue smacked back, throwing dirt all over him. He could've sworn he heard something rustle in the trees but he ignored it for now as he looked around. 

He was scared. He had been scared. Anxiety filled his stomach as he thought about what could've happened if he didn't get up and _run_. What it he had tried to fight it? Would he have won? 

He inhaled deeply to try and calm himself, hopefully he didn't have to fret about having to deal with a lecture. 

It seemed he had lost track of where he was going. The trees towering over were preventing his vision from spotting any signs of the city and there was no sign of life other than little bugs or animals. 

He sighed and walked over to grab his bag, tossing it over his shoulder and sniffed the air. He didn't have his nen but he still had reflexes and an amazing sense of smell, he could use that to his advantage. 

He turned to one area and started to make his way through it, following his own scent back to where he originally had been before he decided to wonder out to find some stupid lake. 

It could possibly take all day, but that was fine. Perhaps Hisoka would reward him for this, or scold him for the trouble. 

\---------

Gon stopped, out of breath as he stared at the city before him. It was already sunset, but he was just glad to have found his way back. 

"Bravo! You are so very brave, Gon!" He heard content clapping from by one of the trees. He turned and ran towards Hisoka quickly, if it was Killua he probably would've hugged him, but this was a murderous magician that would most definitely try to kill him if he tried anything of the sort. 

"I am proud of you. You have passed my test! That is an achievement on its own, my little fruit.~" Hisoka purred. 

"Test..?" Gon frowned. 

"I had a feeling you'd end up wandering elsewhere. I took the chance to see what you'd do with the moonfrog. ♡"

"Would you have left me there if.." The boy was pushing his chances asking questions like these, but Hisoka answer anyways. 

"As tempting as that would be, I am still hoping to get a fight out of this. So no, I would not. ♢" 

"Come now, Gon. I've a feeling you'll be glad to see who I'm taking you to. ♡"

And so the two set off through the city, with Gon's guilt over whether he truly had done good enough trailing behind them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ran out of ideas halfway through so it's a little bit rushed but hopefully the next chapter will make up for it! 
> 
> Also some more of Hisoka being nice to Gon. He's probably going to end up punching him because he's an idiot like that but he's trying.


	5. Doctor × Is × In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka and Gon visit Leorio, Hisoka buys files and gets hurt, Leorio starts to warm up to him a little.

Hisoka's heels were loud among the silence of the alleyway. If silence was defined as low sobbing or predators luring their prey in anyways. Gon had found himself holding onto Hisoka's limp hand and strangely the other did not fuss about it. Usually he would but Gon was still only 14, and seeing such upsetting sights would be unnerving to anybody. Of course Hisoka was used to this, after all he was walking in the very shoes of what his childhood used to look like, he knew the ups and downs of what others were trying to do and what they were experiencing. He did not care for the past, so he did not care for these people. 

He threw a card or two towards a few figures cowering in the corner. Yes, this was cruel, but they wouldn't get very far. They would either succumb to death or become what they feared. He was simply doing them a favour, putting them out of their misery. 

"We will be there soon, Gon." He said calmly. 

"Keep close, I don't want to lose my favorite toy now do I?" 

"Okay.." Gon murmured, disliking the area they were currently in. 

"Who are we going to see anyways...?" He questioned curiously. 

"It's a surprise. You will not be disappointed.~ ♢"

Hisoka turned down a corner and then went left. They were met with a block of seemingly well-kept houses. The clown made his way towards one and smiled. 

"Well. This should be it if Illumi gave me the right address.." He gestured for Gon to knock. 

The boy skipped up to the door and knocked happily, waiting to see who would answer. He was hoping it would be Killua but a part of him knew that it was unlikely. 

The door opened slowly and Gon gasped in surprise. 

"Leorio!" He jumped forward to embrace the medical student. 

"GON- W- What are you doing here?!" Leorio yelped, but returned the hug nonetheless. 

"Hisoka's helping me get my nen back!" Gon cheered. 

"H- Hisoka?! He hasn't done anything weird to you has he?!" 

"How rude of you to think I would do such a thing to my fruit. ♤" Hisoka frowned as he stepped a little closer. 

"Why the hell should I trust you?" Leorio didn't seem convinced so Gon spoke up. 

"I think you should try. He's been nice throughout most of the journey so I trust him." 

"How kind of you, Gon. ♡" The clown said happily as Leorio simply let out an annoyed sigh and offered for them to come in, eyeing Hisoka with a glare as he closed the door. 

"Gon you can make yourself at home, I- need to talk to Hisoka." The medical student murmured. 

"Kay!" The boy ran off happily, leaving the other two to speak. 

"What are you up to?" Leorio pushed the other against the wall. 

"Getting Gon's nen back, as he said. ♤"

"We're leaving again in a day, during the afternoon. Do what you will with that information, doctor.~" Hisoka licked his lips, noticing how tight Leorio's grasp was. 

"God I really wanna punch you!"

"Then go ahead, I'd love to see your nen for myself.~" 

He was met with a fist before he could say anything else. A thin string of blood ran from his nose as he stared at the other, his grin widening. 

"Here- just- you're not staying the night. Come back in the morning or whatever, you're not sleeping here." Leorio handed him a tissue, he wasn't really supposed to feel bad but Hisoka hadn't done anything that creepy so he didn't have much of a reason to have done that. Yet finally getting him back for the Hunter Exam felt nice. 

"Mm, I wasn't planning to. I have some connections so I'll be out. Tell Gon I'll be back soon.~" Hisoka waved and within a blink he was out of the window. 

\---------

_Knock. Knock. Knock_. 

"Ai! Ai! Be patient!" A voice with a light accent from behind the door yelled. 

It opened after a lot of fussing from the inside. The man who answered was slightly short, his hair was a raven mess and he had tired eyes that told many stories. He seemed quite young but wise. 

"Never expected to see you here, Amorou-San!" 

"We talked about this, Kaji." Hisoka chuckled. 

"I apologize! I forgot. What is it that you need?" The man who seemed to be Kaji questioned. 

The two were old friends, it was rare for Hisoka to keep anybody close but he decided Kaji could come to good use later, being a Nen researcher, so he kept him alive. 

"Do you have any ideas on how to.. Get somebody's Nen back?" Hisoka asked cautiously, tugging at his rings in attempts to adjust them. They seemed to be tighter than normal, or was he just nervous? 

"You lost your Nen?!" Kaji yelped. 

"Come, come!" He gestured for the clown to enter, who happily accepted. 

"For one of my fruits actually." Hisoka corrected with a long sigh. 

"I wanted to fight him for a while but then that news came in."

"I see! I have some information on somebody who may know more than I do, would you like to hear?" Kaji smiled as he offered his friend a drink. 

Hisoka took it carefully, staring at the water for a while before finally taking a sip and nodding. 

"They go by the name of Delta. She likes to play tricks though so you best be careful. They know something about Nen being revived after death and she specializes in getting Nen back. It seems there are more people with this issue that your target has."

"Where can I find them? She seems to be of good use. I can see through lies easily, you are aware of that." Hisoka murmured. 

"You seem to care a lot about this 'fruit' of yours." 

"I do not! I simply want to fight him quickly, and that will not happen if he does not have his Nen. I _will_ kill him when the time comes." The clown spluttered out, furrowing his eyebrows. 

Kaji pursed his lips into a smile and went to look through his files. He took one out and handed it to the other. 

"Payment is same as last time." 

Hisoka took out a small bag of what looked to be a type of berry and handed it over. He then waved slightly and left to go look at what the file had to say. 

It held lots of information that Kaji previously did not mention. Perhaps he was afraid that somebody would see, of course that was reasonable since this information was very valuable to anybody. Hisoka was just using this to get Gon's Nen back, so not much trouble would form with this in his hands, unless he got caught by the wrong eyes. 

He let out a long sigh and wavered the paper a little, deep in thought.

"I'm running out of places to put these." He whined to himself, "Perhaps the doctor will take it.."

A shallow breeze caught his attention, sending him on instant alert. Just who could be prowling around now, waiting to strike? They wouldn't get far. Not with the clown. In fact, the prey- Hisoka in this case, was more dangerous than the predator. It could cost life to try and hunt a magician such as him. 

A few knives shot his way, he dodged most while getting his shoulder slit. This reminded him of the Hunter Exam, it'd be hilarious to see that examiner he killed coming back to haunt him, but he supposed this was not the case. 

He easily caught a few of the knives and shot them back from where they came from, hearing a shriek from a distance not too far. This would buy him enough time to leave, enough time to leave no traces and make it seem as if there was nobody there in the first place. 

He was sly, and certainly able to fool whoever had tried to land more that one hit on him. This would he something fun to tell Gon about, and perhaps he'd get to spend more time with the doctor that he hoped to fight sometime soon. 

What _fun_. 

\---------

"It seems everyone's asleep." Hisoka murmured, making his way in through the window. It wasn't unexpected seeing nobody awake since it was only 6 AM after all.

His suspicions were deemed incorrect when he saw Leorio stumble out of the kitchen sleepily. They exchanged glances, the doctor only seeing the blood on his third. 

"Hisoka!" He whispered, slightly aggressively, but he was worried nonetheless.

He made his way over to the magician, swiping his briefcase off the counter as he did so. The light switched on quickly and he sat down, gesturing for Hisoka to do the same. 

"Show me."

"Show you?~" Hisoka grinned. 

Leorio groaned and rolled his eyes, grabbing the clowns hand and opening his briefcase to look for something to bandage the wound up with and some antiseptic. 

"How did you manage this?"

"I wasn't doing anything of importance. Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about.~" Hisoka cooed. 

"But if it really does concern you, I have found some leads." He pulled out the files and placed them on the table, moving his face closer to the other's. 

"Feel free to look through them, I believe you'll find something of interest. ♧"

"Sure, whatever! Just back up!" Leorio hissed, trying to finish quickly so that he didn't have to be in the presence of the magician any longer. 

"Mm.. Why do you decide to do these things if you dislike me? ♢"

"I don't dislike you, you just creep me out! Plus you punched me in the Hunter Exam!" 

"But haven't you gotten me back for that? ♤"

"Tch- Be quiet so I can finish." Leorio frowned, yet he could not hide the guilt that he promised himself he wouldn't feel for the magician. 

"I got bad feelings from you from the start!" 

"And you felt correctly.~"

"You know, if I wanted to kill you I would've done so already. But I'm aware my little fruit treasures his friends so I will refrain from doing that, though I'd like to see him at his peak."

"He lost his Nen at his peak. I'm not letting that happen again." Leorio's voice lowered. 

"And what if it does? What will my poor doctor do then? ♡"

"YOU'RE REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES NOW!" Leorio yelled. 

"I'm just stating a possibility. Do not fear, doctor. ♢"

They remained in silence for a while after that, Hisoka watching with curiosity as the other tended to his more minor wounds that he himself often payed no mind to. He felt calm for a moment, a feeling that was often anonymous to him, but he swiftly brushed it off as it did not matter to him. 

"We could grow to be good friends. ♡"

"Tch, as if.." Leorio scoffed. 

"I wasn't joking. ♤"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kept running out of ideas so the end is a little rushed but I wanted to give Leorio and Hisoka a moment of intimacy, our favorite doctor could grow to be very useful to the story line in future. :-) 
> 
> We'll be getting some of Leorio and Gon bonding while also exploring some of Hisoka's new feelings towards what he is beginning to consider his friends next chapter!


	6. Care × For × Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka and Leorio have an argument at a cafe. Gon and Leorio bond for a while.

"So to get to know each other better, you propose we go for coffee?"

"L- Look, it's just a suggestion!" Leorio spluttered out, fighting the urge to punch the clown again. 

"And you are bringing the little _fruit_ along too, yes?" Hisoka tilted his head, with that stupid little playful smile of his. 

"Of course I'm bringing Gon along." The doctor huffed, still feeling uneasy due to the suggestive nicknames that the magician gave them. 

"But he's sitting next to me."

"I never mentioned otherwise." Hisoka scoffed. 

"W- Well, how's your shoulder?" Leorio questioned, staring at the other with hopeful eyes. 

"It is fine. Never hurt in the first place." 

"Are you sure..?"

"Positive." Hisoka stood and walked over to one of the room's doors. He knocked, standing idly outside. Hopefully Gon was not a heavy sleeper. 

"Y- You could have waited!" Leorio argued. 

"Hush. He's a good boy, am sure he'll be happy."

"Coming!" Gon actually sounded excited for once. His voice was usually quiet in the mornings, upset, devoid of emotion. But he truly felt ready today, which was a change from his usual... Bored demeanor. He was going to get his Nen back. He had to.

"See, he sounds alright. ♢"

Leorio simply groaned in response to this and went to go make them breakfast, which he most certainly did not need to do yet again.. He was already at the kitchen. 

Gon skipped out of the room a few minutes later, waving happily at Hisoka who was already at the living room. The clown smiled and waved back slightly. 

"Are you both okay with pancakes?" Leorio called out. 

"Un!" The boy cheered, running over to see if he could help make them. 

"Ah, am not hungry." Hisoka spoke calmly, getting up and following his _fruit_. He had nothing better to do anyways.

The doctor raised an eyebrow and frowned in response to this, so Hisoka quickly spoke up again.

"Yes, I like pancakes."

He continued to stare at the clown for a long moment before shaking his head and apologizing. 

"Were you looking at me because perhaps you noticed I was shorter than you?"

"Spot on." Leorio groaned. 

"Can I help?" Hisoka was bored, and what better idea than to help the doctor make some pancakes. 

"Can you even cook?" 

"Of course I can!" The clown held a hand to his chest as if offended that the other would assume he couldn't do such a simple task. He was always the one to make breakfast for his parents as a child so he of course kept that skill as he grew. 

"Fine.. Don't try to poison it or anything." Leorio pulled Hisoka closer and began to read out the ingredients they needed. 

\---------

"I still don't like you." Leorio mumbled before taking another bite out of the tasty pancakes. So it had turned out, Hisoka was a much better cook than he was-- it pissed him off but oh well. 

"Lets try to get along." Gon suggested, turning to Hisoka. "You're good at cooking."

"You cannot give me all of the credit." Hisoka smiled. Gon was such a sweet boy. 

"This doesn't sound like you at all!" Leorio scowled. 

The others simply laughed at this, and just for a moment the doctor had a feeling that things weren't going to be as bad. 

For most of the breakfast, they actually got along but ended up fighting a little.. Which Gon had to break up. For the rest of their time there they kind of just eyed each other angrily. 

And then came the time to head out. Leorio was the only one with a car, as Hisoka wasn't allowed to drive and Gon was still too young, but he still wanted to. 

"How come I can't drive?" He huffed. 

"You do not have a license." Hisoka glanced back. 

"I have a Hunter License!"

"A Hunter License is different from a Driving License, Gon. I do not want my _fruit_ to crash the car, there are a few things that _Bungee Gum_ can not prevent.. I believe one is a car accident." The clown frowned, turning to the front once more, receiving an annoyed groan from Gon. Leorio just looked at him with confusion, not knowing Hisoka to be so responsible. 

\---------

The three entered the cafe, it was a small little place but it had lots of room upon further inspection. The counter at the front was a shiny wooden looking material with a red tint to it. The sun was batting against large windows that exposed them to the outside and the smell of freshly baked treats occupied the air around them. 

They headed to the counter and ordered what they wished, sitting calmly with their order numbers afterwards. 

"Waaah, that took ages!" Gon complained, swinging his legs slightly as he pulled out his phone and eyed his contacts. His thumb hovered over Killua's name, but he quickly shook his head and put his phone away again. It was for the best that he didn't bother his friend, he knew he was happier without him. They had both been bombarding each other with their goals, as much as they cared and loved about each other it was suffocating and they both knew that the only thing they could do to stop this before it got worse, was seperate. Truthfully, Gon didn't feel any better. 

"Gon, is something wrong?" Leorio questioned, noticing the boy was sinking into his thoughts. Hisoka payed no mind to them, busy texting Illumi. 

"Mm..?" Gon looked up, a saddened look lingering in his eyes. 

"Is it about Killua?" The medical student sighed, adjusting his glasses. 

"You know you'll see him again someday. Plus you've got Hisoka with you now.." He grit his teeth at the mention of the clown. 

"He's.. Keeping you safe or something. Anyways- I'm sure you'll see Killua again soon, but what the hell do I know?" He chuckled. 

"Well you must know a lot since you are training to be a doctor and all." Hisoka cooed, earning a giggle from the boy and another scowl from Leorio. 

Gon suddenly got up and waved slightly, running off to the bathroom.. Leaving the two men to talk. 

"You are the worst!" Leorio yelled. 

"Oh, you flatter me.~" 

"I hate you." He tried to insult the clown again. 

"Love you too. ♡"

"Look- What the hell are you up to? You'd never actually willingly help somebody." Leorio hissed, grabbing the other's shirt collar and pulling him close. He didn't seem to react. 

"I want Gon to get his Nen back, so that I can fight him. That is all." He replied calmly. 

"Surely there has to be more, you're a transmuter damn it!"

"Leorio." Hisoka took hold of the doctor's wrist and started it tighten his grip, threatening to crush it. 

"Like hell I'm gonna let you do shit to Gon.. He's been through enough!" Leorio didn't care. 

"Yet I turned out fine, did I not? ♢"

"You are the one who lives only for money, doctor."

"That's not true!" The other winced, not removing his hold on Hisoka's collar despite feeling his bones beginning to crack against the pressure. 

"Really..? Why do you want money so much then? ♡" The clown teased. 

"IF I HAD MONEY MT FRIEND WOULDN'T BE DEAD! Maybe I would've even been able to save Gon quicker.." The doctor finally eased his hand and felt as his wrist was surprisingly let go of. 

"There are so many people I can save but I'm not trying hard enou-"

"That's enough, Leorio. ♤"

They remained silent for a while, before speaking up at the same time. 

"I'm sorry."

They blinked, staring at each other formal long moment. Eventually Hisoka smiled and started to laugh a little.. Followed by Leorio a few seconds later. 

"Perhaps I may have gone a little overboard. ♤"

"I'm sorry I got angry. I think Gon would want us to get along.." The doctor sighed. 

The drinks were brought over to them. 

"You're not.. As creepy as you usually act."

"Am tired, doctor. No time for such acts as those." Hisoka purred, taking a sip from his own and then offering it to the other for a taste. Leorio held it slowly and took a sip as well, handing it back over feeling satisfied. 

The clown's smaller features were much more visible in the sunlight, the freckles he had attempted to cover up with makeup, the scars that were etched along almost every part of his skin, his eyelashes, the thin strings of hair hanging idly over his eyes. 

"You're staring, doctor." He smiled softly. 

"Hm- Oh.." Leorio quickly glanced away, jumping slightly when Gon sat down with a grin. 

"Well, am gonna have some time alone." The doctor knew all well that Hisoka really just wanted the two to talk privately, giving a thankful nod as he left with his drink. 

Leorio and Gon went on to talk about what had previously happened in their lives while they were apart, as well as what they were currently doing. Soon enough they had to leave, this time the doctor wanted to let Hisoka stay the night. 

"You still creep me out, but if you want to sleep here you can.."

"There's no need, I'll be off again." Hisoka cooed. 

"Do what you want." Leorio huffed, heading back to his bedroom. 

The other only chuckled and fled into the night through the window.. Though when the daytime came Leorio found him sleeping peacefully on the couch, his face scathed once again. He groaned and started to make breakfast, ready for them to leave. 

\---------

"Leorio, we'll come back when I get my Nen!" Gon grinned. 

"Alright, but be careful!" Leorio spluttered out. 

The boy waved slightly and started to head to where the trains would arrive as ordered by Hisoka who was about to come along before he was quickly called back by the doctor. 

"What is it, doctor?"

"Take care of yourself and Gon, okay?" Leorio crossed his arms, glancing to the side in embarrassment. 

"Mm. ♡" The clown nodded happily. 

"I- I'm being serious!" 

"I know, doctor. ♡"

"I- I think Gon is actually starting to consider you a friend, and so am I- sort of.." The medical student sighed. 

"Oh, is that so? ♢"

They went silent for a moment before Hisoka started to chuckle lightly, eventually it turned into quiet laughter. 

"H- Hey! What's so funny?!" Leorio yelped. 

"It's just, you truly hated me but now you are wishing me a safe journey? You change your mind fast. ♡"

"Shut up!" He blurted out. 

"Mh, you be careful too, doctor. Am sure Gon will update you on our journey." Hisoka smiled, turning away and beginning to walk off. 

Leorio found himself actually looking forward to their next meeting. 

Yeah, he cared too much and got attached way too easily. But it was fine, the more friends the better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry the end was so rushed. I tried to make this one longer than usual so hopefully that makes up for it a little. :-) 
> 
> Hisoka and Leorio will of course continue to have back and forth banters between each other but they'll probably make up in the end. 
> 
> I also want to believe Hisoka has a soft/sympathetic side somewhere in that cold shell of his so that's why I made him stop arguing with Leorio. 
> 
> Sorry if they weren't that canon in this chapter, I tried lol
> 
> Anyways, I will try to hurry with the next one! See you all soon.


	7. The × Journey × Continues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon and Hisoka spar on top of a train, Hisoka ends up revealing something about himself.

Gon slumped into his seat lazily, watching the trees fly by with tired eyes. He hadn't slept much and all the excitement from talking with Leorio had finally drained. Though he perked up when he heard the contents of his bag being rustled around. 

"Hey!" 

Hisoka had his usual grin on while he looked through Gon's bag, pulling out random things that seemed interesting. 

"Intriguing.. ♢" He cooed, wavering some of the boy's unfinished homework in the air. He placed it down happily and continued to look through. He hummed once coming across a picture of Killua, hanging it in front of the boy's face. 

"Whatever did happen to him? Do you not talk to him anymore?"

Gon's whole mood changed, his aura shifting as he looked away. Hisoka took notice in this and was quick to return the items into their original places inside of the bag. He placed it aside and watched Gon with curiosity, waiting for if he'd reply or simply do _anything_. But he didn't, so the clown asked a different question.

"Gon, are you alright? I can't have my _fruit_ looking so down."

"I miss him." Gon mumbled, hiding his face in his arms. The magician tilted his head in response to this action, unsure of what to do or how to reply. He hesitantly pat Gon's head with a sigh and tried to think of a solution. 

"I miss people too sometimes, but you cannot let that get you down. ♡"

"Really?" Gon glanced up with teary eyes. 

"Yes, really.. And I must admit that it does upset me, but you need to let that happen in order to move on. Besides, am sure you will see him again." Hisoka almost considered making their next spot wherever Killua was, but he needed to focus on completing his goal. He had no time for relationships that would get in the way, though Illumi was an exception. 

"Did you lose somebody?" The boy questioned, his tone a little too upbeat- he didn't mean it of course.

"We all do, don't we?" Hisoka smiled, "Now. I believe you have some homework to do? ♢"

Gon let out a long, annoyed, exhale as he took his papers out. He sucked at math, both of them knew that. The magician watched intently as the boy began to write the answers, occasionally butting in to help with any answers which was truly unexpected of him but it seemed he was actually starting to warm up to Gon, which was both a good and bad thing. Good, because that meant he'd stop treating the boy like a toy, and bad because attachments often got him hurt. 

"Mm.. Finish off your Literature and then meet me up there." Hisoka got up, pointing up, before slipping through a window that lead to the roof of the train.

Gon was quick to finish and grab his fishing rod. Eyeing the window and swinging the rod up. He caught in and started to use that as a 'rope' to get up to it. He opened it carefully and struggled a little to get on top. Once he did, he was filled with excitement when Hisoka stood with his battle stance, awating a spar perhaps.

"Training may do you some good. Rush of adrenaline will make you forget about him for now, no? ♡"

\---------

Hisoka was currently standing over a coughing and wheezing Gon. He had hit him a little too hard while they were sparring and now the boy was close to coughing up blood. He kept trying to that he was fine but was cut off by his repeated gasps for air. The clown was having none of it and knocked him out to prevent any further negotiation. 

Thus, Gon awoke wrapped in blankets, Hisoka simply flipping through the homework he had done. He looked slightly normal, smiling softly as he glanced at his phone every now and then. The boy tried to move, only to be met with a searing pain across his right arm. He lifted the blanket off slightly and winced as he noticed the bandage. 

"Gon! Be careful, your arm was close to being broken." Hisoka explained quickly. 

"Luckily you're quite strong so the impact didn't do enough to cause so."

_Luckily_. 

Usually Hisoka would not have said that, it seemed he truly was starting to care.

"How are you feeling?"

It was painfully obvious too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka might have more friends soon. He's so lonely bye
> 
> Anyways! I hope you liked this chapter, I tried to get it out quicker than usual because I wanted to start the next one quickly since I have an idea. 
> 
> The next chapter will mostly be based on Hisoka forming a genuine friendship and learning that he can actually care about someone.


	8. Hisoka × Is × Scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka doesn't know how to feel about Gon anymore. He panics.

Gon and Hisoka had fallen asleep after that whole ordeal. The clown was first to fall prey to the state of dreams, surprising Gon as he just thought he never slept. But then again, every good fighter needs their rest so it was only natural. The boy had soon awoke, startled by the voice on the speaker that ushered those who were still in the capsules to wake up as the train was stopping. Hisoka had already packed their things and happily lead Gon towards the doors. 

"You woke a little late, but I didn't want to disturb my fruit so we didn't have time for breakfast. We can go to a cafe when we get out of the train." 

"I thought we were gonna hurry." Gon tilted his head. 

"Un, but you need to eat. ♡"

"This isn't like you at all." The boy raised an eyebrow, yet followed along as if this meant nothing. 

"Perhaps it isn't." 

They walked into a small cafe, Hisoka allowed Gon to order something and they sat down. The clown began to build a card tower, but soon noticed that the other looked down again. 

"Go on."

"What?" Gon looked up, confused. 

"Tell me about Killua. You look miserable, Gon. ♤"

"Am aware that you told me the reasoning for your sadness, but maybe talking about him will help?"

The boy thought for a moment before beginning to reminisce about the times they had together. Half way through he ended up recounting a few funny things and laughed, earning a somewhat proud smile from Hisoka that was quickly hidden with his hand. Of course, with retelling stories of the past, a question popped up that the clown had been wishing he didn't have to answer. 

"Do you have any stories? You hardly ever talk about the past!" Gon smiled. 

"I learnt Nen at a young age. I believe that is all that you'd find interesting. Perhaps I'll tell you more another time. ♧"

"Waaah." The boy sighed, defeated. Thus making Hisoka cave in to his request. 

"I suppose I could tell you how?"

Gon nodded quickly, excited to listen. Hisoka was a secretive man, and if he had managed to pry this out of him he was certain that he was possibly start it to get on his good side. Of course he was excited for a fight but, it frightened him. It frightened him because he didn't know if he would have to relearn Nen all over again, or if he would be weaker than before. He already knew the clown was going to stop at nothing to win, but he didn't know if he even had a chance to _try_. So perhaps if he got on his good side, he'd offer to change up the deal. Plus, having Hisoka as a friend would be helpful. If he was being honest.. He was having a good time with him, and he even seemed to be trying not to he as creepy so that was a plus. 

"My mother was a spectacular woman. She knew Nen from a young age too since she was born into a family of powerful users.. Of course that meant she wanted to carry on the family tradition." Hisoka smiled. 

"I am only this powerful because I went through training that a fruit like you should not have to endure. Of course it would've been.. Interesting to see how far you'd have come." 

"My father was a Hunter too. He used his abilities for the wrong things though, so I killed him." He chuckled slightly, as if this was completely normal. Gon had to remember that Hisoka was still sinister and didn't hold back, it was only natural. The clown looked saddened for a moment before continuing. 

"There are other things, but I believe it would be best we leave now." He stood. 

"I can sense bloodlust. Lets go, Gon." 

The boy quickly held onto Hisoka's hand so that he didn't lose sight of him and they made their way out of the cafe. As they began to walk through the crowd of people on the streets, the clown's phone started to ring. He picked up. 

"Yes darling? ♡"

"I know you hate Valentines. ♤"

"I am still with Gon, Illumi."

"Oh don't be like that!~"

"We can do something tonight, my love."

"Yes I am in Mitsuaba."

"The love festival is tonight."

"Yes, that's why I suggested it."

"Okay, bye, Illu."

"Love you too.~" 

He hung up. 

"Are you dating Illumi?!" Gon yelled. 

"Yes. And if you want to see Killua you're not going to tell anybody about it. Usually I wouldn't mind, but Lumi will kill me if anyone finds out." Hisoka groaned with a face palm, only to realise that he had mentioned his plans for now by accident. 

"See Killua...?" The boy tilted his head in surprise, watching as the clown stopped in his tracks and looked down at him. 

"I wasn't going to but it's irritating to see you upset. ♤"

"Am renting a hotel room for a while. I decided you could see Killua since he seems to be in this town which coincidentally is the place where the Nen user im searching for is." 

"You're being really nice, are you okay?" Gon frowned in a worried manor. 

"I am fine." Truthfully, Hisoka was not fine at all. He was confused and annoyed and surprised all at the same time and he didn't understand what was going on with his emotions because he had only ever been taught to deal with everything by using violence. Right now, he was particularly calm on the outside but he was trying to find out why he did not wish to kill Gon as much has he originally wanted to. He intended to do the deal, fight him, and get the job over and done with but now he was having second thoughts. 

He was _terrified_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK. Hisoka is panicking but don't worry😍😍
> 
> Angst will happen soon 😈
> 
> Also the next chapter will focus on Killua and Gon's reunion, as well as Hisoillu :-) 
> 
> I need to put my Hisoleo fic on here too 😟 bare with me y'all


	9. Gon × Comforts × Hisoka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka has a breakdown but comes to terms with his feelings after Gon cheers him up. 
> 
> Gon and Killua reunite and Hisoka makes out with Illumi.

Hisoka was sitting nervously on his bed, trying to calm himself with the breathing techniques he usually used with Ten. He insisted on Gon having an nap for the time being but now he was left to panic alone. He looked at his trembling hands, attempting to process these new feelings. He too, had taken a nap but was met with flashbacks, so he woke up almost instantly after with heavy breaths and he could not calm himself either because he was still trying to figure out _how_ he felt about Gon.

The boy was awfully sweet to him despite him being a cold blooded murderer, and now just _thinking_ about harming him made him ill at ease. The feelings agitated him, because the only other times he had felt this way they all had ended badly. Of course there was Illumi, but they had a contract and eventually planned to kill each other so even though he had essentially caught real feelings that relationship too, would end in shambles with one of the two- or perhaps even both, dead.

And then came the thoughts about the memory he had that night that made his heart begin to ache, and in turn he covered his mouth fearing that he'd make a noise and disturb Gon who was on the other bed. If this was his room in Heaven's Arena, he would've left to go hide somewhere and have his breakdown, but the doors and the floors here would creek loudly at footsteps and such, so he had no choice but to suffer in silence.

He could feel his heart hammering against his chest, breaking. He was tired, tired of holding back his tears. But he had no choice because for some reason he had been cursed with the ability to care, and for some reason he had been punished with nightmares that never stopped. This happened almost every night, of course usually he'd suck it up and go to bed again but _now_.. Now, he had new feelings to deal with as well, and it was destroying him.

"Hisoka..?" Gon mumbled sleepily.

"Not- now." Hisoka's voice shook unwillingly. His stomach churned at the thought that Gon had noticed this change, and it got worse when the boy spoke again.

"Are you okay..?"

"I am fine, Gon." The clown attempted to keep his voice straight this time, failing miserably. He needed to be _strong_. He couldn't let the strings of his mask frey, not now and not ever.

Oh, but Gon was smart enough to see that Hisoka was certainly not okay and on the brink of tears. He sat up slowly and walked towards his side of the room cautiously, he didn't know if the magician would act violently or not, his suspicions eased when the other reached his hand out, a pathetic gesture to try and keep Gon from going any closer.

"G- Gon, I told you, I am fine."

Hisoka pulled his hand back quickly, instead clutching at his stomach as he attempted not to let out anything else.

"Hisoka!" Gon shuffled closer and looked intently at the clown, trying to see what was bothering him. He couldn't put his finger on it, and it didn't seem like he was in physical pain.. So he determined it had to be something emotional. He was good at cheering people up because he knew what made them happy, but he didn't even bother learning much about Hisoka so he didn't know what to do. Eventually he just set on trying to think of something to say, or an action he could do.

"We can fight right now if that makes you feel better!" He spluttered out, in hopes that this would cheer the magician up.

Hisoka shook his head desperately. He wanted Gon to leave him alone. There was no point trying to help because he _himself_ didn't know how to fix this problem. He had been keeping all of these nights deep down inside and this was the last straw. These feelings were his breaking point.

"I- It's okay!" Gon said quickly, trying to think of something to do. Just for a second, he thought he could feel some of the clown's aura. Just a second was enough to feel how badly he was suffering, how much he needed comfort right now. He sat himself in front of Hisoka and began to speak again.

"D- Do you want to talk about it?"

"Gon.. Please go back to sleep. I- I am perfectly capable of- handling this alone." The magician's voice cracked.

"No way! I keep getting upset, and you keep trying to make me feel better. You're even taking me to see Killua! I don't like returning favours or anything but.. I can't just sit around while you feel like this!" Gon exclaimed, furrowing his eyebrows and crossing his arms.

Hisoka finally eased his grip, his hand beginning to hover away from his mouth. His breaths became shallow as tears rolled down his cheeks. He had originally dreaded crying but here he was, unable to stop. His gaze shifted to stare at the boy for a moment.

"It's- It's nothing- important, Gon."

"It's got to be important if it has you shaken up!" Gon knew Hisoka to be one of the strongest Nen users there were, not just physically but emotionally. To see him break down like this was nerve wracking, it would make anybody uneasy. As for Gon, it just pained him because he truly considered the clown a friend now.

"I just.. Am not used to keeping people close. It never- ends well. But I- am starting to consider you a friend. ♤"

"What's so bad about that?" Gon smiled.

"T- The issue is, I have lost my will to fight you. I no longer bare any want to kill you. It frightens me because violence is all I have ever known, do you understand now, Gon?" Hisoka whispered, trying so desperately to wipe away his tears, yet only an avalanche of more followed.

"Oh..! I see.. Well it's always good to have friends!" The boy cheered, eventually wrapping his arms around Hisoka's waist, a loose embrace. He had done it without thinking, but Hisoka wasn't trying to kill him so he remained to see what would happen. After a few minutes the clown rest a hand on Gon's head.

"I think I just.. Need some time to figure out whats- going on.." Hisoka needed to sort his morals out, perhaps change his deal with Gon, or maybe just throw it away all together while of course still going to get his Nen back.

"Kay!" Gon pulled away happily and smiled.

"Oh, wait.. I wanted to show you something." He grabbed a pack of cards from his bag and got one out.

"Mmm?" Hisoka tilted his head, wiping his tears idly.

Gon showed Hisoka the card, before flicking his wrist and making it disappear.

"Are you trying to make me cry again?" Hisoka raised an eyebrow, unable to stop the smile that spread across his cheeks.

The boy giggled at this, and Hisoka ended up falling prisoner to the urge to teach him a few more tricks. None of them ended up getting much sleep.

\---------

"Mmm, it's down the street. Are you excited, Gon?"

"Mhm! But- I'm a little nervous too." Gon shuffled a little closer behind the other, grabbing his hand and sighing.

"I haven't seen him in ages, w- what if he doesn't like me anymore? I still don't even have my Nen and-"

"Gon. You _will_ get your Nen back, I can assure you that. Back at the hotel room I felt your aura spike up a little, did you notice anything different? ♧"

"Un! Your aura was all over the place!" Gon's eyes widened.

Hisoka stopped and turned to face Gon, crouching down in front of him. He poked his chest and smiled.

"Your _Nen_ , is still in you. You just need to bring it out. ♡"

"And to do this, you must be patient. Believe in your current abilities, because you are more than enough right now."

"I think I have already made up my decision for the future. It is not up to me whether you'll accept it though." Hisoka stood, ruffling the boy's hair and continuing to walk.

"You already make a fine hunter."

Gon's anxiety eased a little as he followed along.   
  


The festival was filled with people, how the hell Gon would find Killua was unbeknownst to him. Hisoka was already sensing for auras though, Killua had a very distinct one that stood out from others so it was easy to pull out among crowds.

His gaze set on a boy with white hair. He glanced down towards Gon and tapped his shoulder.

"Gon."

"Hmm?"

"You're going to do great." Hisoka turned his head to face the two, earning a gasp from him.

"Thanks Hisoka!" Gon ran off, excitement filling his chest.

"Ah, so you have gotten attached." A slow voice spoke softly from behind the clown, who spun around to meet the assassin face to face.

"Illumi! Don't scare me like that, you know how I am." Hisoka groaned, pressing his body against the other's.

"Yes but you are treating Gon like he is your child." Illumi frowned.

"You're the one who's overprotective with Killua.~ ♡"

"Lumi.. Lets go get candy!"

"Fine." Illumi dragged the clown to one of the stalls, both of them bought some cotton candy and sat down on a wall, watching as some fireworks burst up into the air.

"So. Have you seen Killua?"

"Oh please, just let him be. I actually.. Invited you because I wanted to spend time with you." Hisoka smiled, leaning back.

"Oh? Is that so?" Illumi tilted his head in surprise.

"I hardly ever get to see you.. So just this once, stay with me.~ ♡"

"You are demanding." The assassin turned to face Hisoka, grabbing his face and kissing him. The clown wrapped his arms around the other's waist, pulling him closer.

Once they pulled away, they both smiled, Hisoka pressing lots more kisses onto the assassin's face, earning an annoyed glare from him once he stopped.

"Lumi. I love youuu.~"

"I know." Illumi groaned.

"Do you love me too? ♡"

"Mm. I suppose."

"Hurray! Lumi is so nice.~ ♡"

He wanted things to stay like this too, but eventually fate would take one of their hearts. It was only destiny.

\---------

Gon treaded through the crowd, gaze burning into the back of Killua's head. Upon getting close enough, he tackled the ex assassin into a tight embrace, knocking them both onto the ground.

"Killua! Killua!"

"GON?!"

The two quickly stood to look at each other, Gon was glad until Killua started to shake him, shouting at him and telling him how much he missed him.

"Where were you?! Idiot!"

"I'm going to get my Nen back! With Hisoka!"

"Hisoka?!" Killua yelled.

"Don't worry! He's been really nice so far." The other assured him.

"We visited Leorio! A- And-"

"Idiot! Hisoka could've been tricking you!" Killua flicked him on the forehead, watching the boy whine in pain.

They eventually calmed down and began to talk while going around the festival and trying out the different stalls. Both of them had admitted that they missed each other a lot, but knew they couldn't stay together. In order for Killua to continue his journey of self worth which he hadn't yet completed, he needed to go off alone with Alluka. Gon understood this, and just hoped they'd keep texting each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is rushed (again),, I ran out of ideas (again) 😭
> 
> There will be a little more Hisoillu in the next chapter and then things will start to get serious :-) 
> 
> I have part of one of the later chapters in my notes so stay tuned :-D


	10. Finding × Delta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka has another breakdown and more of his childhood trauma is revealed. <\-- TW
> 
> Him and Gon go to find Delta and Hisoka ends up dreading the method of the covenant removal that Gon wants to try.

Gon was watching the clown meditate. It seemed this was a nightly thing for him to do but he was never seen sleeping. So the question popped up, 

"Don't you sleep?"

"Sometimes." Hisoka gave a scarce answer, obviously focused on other things. The young hunter wanted more answers though. 

"Why not all the time? I know staying up is good for training n' stuff.. But rest is good too!"

"Because I am afraid. ♤" The magician answered without thinking, instantly shutting himself up afterwards. He was afraid of the countless nightmares and flashbacks he had to endure. The last time he tried to sleep was yesterday and that didn't end well at all because he ended up breaking down and needing Gon's help. He didn't want to burden the boy with that again, yet the young hunter was of course willing to help as he always was. 

"Why are you afraid?"

Hisoka paused his mediation, turning to look at Gon with a somber but pained expression. He really didn't want to talk about this, but then again, Enhancers were stubborn. He wouldn't be getting away with this. 

"The past isn't very welcoming sometimes." 

Just then the clown's vision went dark, as it did sometimes. He hoped the young hunter would bare with him right now, for he couldn't control this when it happened. 

_Hisoka was now stood in the rubble of his childhood home. He turned stumbled back, tripping over a photo of what must've been his mother and father._

_Leave it behind. _

_Hisoka picked the small photo up, inspecting the faces on it. He couldn't recognize them any longer, it was as if his vision had blurred them out on purpose. His mother was always so kind to him, for the most part. She was brilliant but hurtful on occasions, she was the one who taught him Nen yet.. He was afraid of her, but of course, it was only natural after the sort of training she put him through._

_A man with a hat and large cane approached him, holding out his gloved hand with a warm smile, a smile that lured everybody in._

_Don't take his hand._

_Hisoka took his hand shakily, dropping the photo and stumbling a little as he was taken away into a carriage, one that looker as if it was taking animals to a circus. There were bars and all, but pretty colours that lit up his mind. He had never seen such pretty colours._

_Once he arrived at the building, he was put in another cage, ordered to perform well and behave if he wanted to be bought. Of course the only buyers were predators hunting on helpless beings. Of course his abilities astounded many straight away so he was taken to do things he never dreamt of doing. He was scarred for a lifetime, and it was nothing he could ever take back. The amount of pain he endured emotionally was nothing compared to the physical ache when his wrists were almost broken with chains. A beautiful monster, that was what the ringleader had called him, but then again all things beautiful were stripped of their wings so it was only fair for Hisoka to be stripped of his too._

"Hisoka!" 

The clown was currently spiraling, uneven breaths escaping his mouth as the room contorted back to its original state. There were tears dripping against the wooden floor of the hotel room and Gon was trying his best to snap the other out of whatever state he was in. 

"I- I'm sorry, I lost myself a little there- I-.." Hisoka was having difficulty catching his breath now so the young hunter simply held his hand to remind him that he wasn't alone right now. He had a feeling that Illumi would be better suited for comforting the clown, but right now this was all he could do. 

"Oh! Do you want me to call Leorio? He's really good with stuff like this!" 

"I- I don't- I don't mind." Hisoka murmured. 

The boy was quick to call up his doctor friend and explain what was going on. He was actually quite surprised to see him so worried and quick to want to help. Gon passed the other his phone. 

He remained there for a while, listening to the two talk until he eventually fell asleep resting against Hisoka's side, who when finished talking tucked him into bed. 

"Why are you so kind to me? It really baffles me you know." 

"Perhaps I will try to set up another meet up with your friend. I think you'd like that."

"I really need to call back Illumi." 

He hesitated for a moment, having only said the next statement to his parents before it was a bit difficult for him, but Gon had helped so much it was only fair for him to be kind too. 

He muttered a soft goodnight, in a language that had long since been sealed away from his vocabulary. His parents would often speak to him in French, saying little prayers and that of the such. Of course Hisoka picked that up, but lost it along the way when they started hurting him. 

Gon was uncovering a part of the magician, and this time it was not to injure him but to finally heal the wounds that had been left on him long ago. 

\---------

"Gon, wake up."

"Gon. Gon. Gon. Gon. Gon. Gon. Gon."

"Gon."

"Wake up."

"Gon."

"I'm up! I'm up!" The young hunter yelped throwing a pillow at the other, who caught it. 

"Get ready, we're leaving in an hour. ♡"

"I was going to wake you up earlier but you looked tired, so I let you sleep."

Hisoka then left the room so Gon could get ready, and they both left a few minutes later because the boy was impatient. They road a train to a strange town, deserted of most people, the residents who were there seemed angry at the world and would scowl at anybody who approached them. 

"Stay close to me, most people here just want money, and they _will_ kill to get it." Hisoka murmured, pulling Gon besides him. 

A few children approached them, the middle holding her hands out shakily. The other two bowed and looked up slowly. 

"May we please have some food?"

Gon tugged on the clown's hand, who groaned and tossed the bag over. The boy eventually pulled out his luncbox and handed it over with a smile. 

"Thank you very much. You and your father are very kind." The child clutched the lunch box to her chest and ran off with the other two.

Gon looked up at the magician, snickering at his surprised expression. He remained still for a moment before shaking his head and continuing to walk after some time, his pace slow so that the boy could follow along with ease. 

They approached a hut, and Hisoka knocked on the door slowly with a smirk, eyeing the small old lady with red hair that scuttled out. 

"You're here for- for covenant breaker? Method is cursed! Cursed! Don't ask- ask me!" She warned. 

"Tell me how to break a covenant." Hisoka demanded, ignoring her previous statement. 

"No! You're bad- bad! You're bad! You or he will get hurt! I can see. Your future is cursed.. You will go to find covenant ring instead! And then- then fate will take you!" The lady waved her arms about. 

"Sorry about granny here." Another person pulled the small old lady out of the way, her voice was low and gentle. 

"Ah, you are Delta then?" The clown questioned. 

"That's me. You're here for the covenant breaker then?"

"That's right. ♡"

"That shit is seriously cursed. I don't think you have a Nen ability that can be used to resurrect, and even if you do it might not even work. You're better off finding the ring, nobody's ever gotten their hands on it though." They handed over a map, moving some hair out of their eyes. 

"Mm, explain the first method again? ◇"

"Fine, but your loss if you end up dying." As she said that, Hisoka seemed to tense a little, pulling the young hunter close to him.

"Oh? It's the kid?" She tilted her head. 

"That is none of your concern. Just tell me. ♤"

"Mm, sure. The covenant user has to die, and then come back. It has broken covenants a few times, sometimes it fails. I wouldn't recommend it. Then there's the covenant ring, put it on and it breaks the covenant but you need to take it off quickly after because you need to take time letting your body get used to the absence of the covenant. The ring fails too, sometimes. So it's a gamble with both." Delta spoke slowly. 

Hisoka frowned and handed over some money, leaving with Gon towards a forest. He began to mutter something incoherent, leaving the young hunter to grab his wrist and stop him to ask what was wrong. 

"Which method do you want to try, Gon?" The clown spluttered out. 

"Should we try the first one, I will make sure to bring you back and if it does not work then we will rest for a while and then go find the ring-"

"We'll do that!" Gon smiled. 

"Are you.. Sure?" Hisoka seemed to be the one in doubts. 

"Mhm! You said you can bring me back! I trust you!" The boy said happily, bouncing a little. 

"We should think first." The other murmured, gesturing for him to follow along as he delved deeper into the forest. 

"Kay!"

Hisoka remained silent after that, with only one thought filling his head. 

_I don't think I can kill you, Gon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally intended to add more hisoillu but I didn't know where I could fit it in,, sorry if this is rushed again. 
> 
> We got more insight into Hisoka's childhood + him adopting genuine feelings of care towards Gon :-) 
> 
> the next few chapters I'm going to make him suffer more though bcs I feel like it
> 
> goodbye for now


	11. Hisoka × Helps × Gon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka and Gon venture out into the forest, get chased by some guys, and then Hisoka slips up because he asked the wrong question and makes a child cry.

The two hunters were currently venturing through the forest. Hisoka was dead set on making sure that Gon would not go through with the death plan. Normally he'd be ecstatic over the idea of getting to kill his prey, but the boy wasn't his unripened fruit anymore, that title had been replaced with the word 'family' which the clown himself didn't quite understand the full meaning of just yet. All he knew was that the sound of it made him happy, and thinking about killing the young hunter whom he was leading on right now filled him with an overwhelmingly sharp pain in his chest, one that he couldn't shake off as he thought further about the subject, like what could've happened had he not learnt to emphasize with the boy and treat him like his _own kid_.

Hisoka's senses heightened suddenly, and he made Gon stop too. He shifted his gaze, spinning around slowly to feel around with En. He had no hope in finding anyone, but realised they must be using some form of Zetsu. This caused his heart to drop when he heard something ruffle in the bushes near Gon. He shot himself infront of the boy just in time to grab hold of a small dagger thrown his way.

"Gon, run as far as you can we will find our track later. Go!" Hisoka hissed, his breathing easing when the young hunter followed his orders. A few other men approached, but it was fine. He'd fight them off and go greet the boy.

\---------

Gon was running, running as fast and as far as his legs could carry him. He ended up tripping, and as he hit the ground his breath hitched. Somebody was close and he was on the ground. He struggled to get up, ignoring the blood that began to scrape at his knees as he did so. His eyes were wide when he heard the footsteps getting closer and faster, so he hurried along, letting the dirt on his hands remain as he continued to run just as the older hunter had told him to do.

Should this have been any other time, he would've refused the to leave the clown's side and fight alongside him. But for the moment, he was weak and he had no Nen. He wouldn't be able to do anything about those men and even if he could he'd probably just slow Hisoka down. And most of all, he was _terrified_ of what they'd do to him, which began to shatter his view of himself as a hunter.

He almost considered stopping and giving up. If he was scared of this he should by no means be a hunter, but something deep in his heart told him that a few people would scold him for this act, one of which was slowly warming up to him. He couldn't risk losing that trust, the trust that had already gotten him so far in this journey.

He ran for a while longer, eventually slowing as he began to feel worn out. He hid in a bush, clutching his chest in hopes that his Nen would suddenly return, glancing up as he heard someone enter the clearing he was currently hiding in. An hour or so had already passed since he left the magician, and he was scared.

Someone reached into the bush, clasping their hands around the boy's neck and pulling him up. This was it. He was going to die. Though, he stopped trying to struggle when he saw those familiar bands around their wrist and scars beyond scars etched into their skin. As he was risen from the bush, he was instantly let go of by the one and only Hisoka Amorou. The clown instantly backed away with repeated apologies even though Gon had already coughed out his words of forgiveness a few times.

The apologies ended up twisting into multiple questions, mostly consisting of 'Are you okay?' and 'Did I hurt you?' and only stopped when the boy threatened to run off again. 

"We should.. Find somewhere safer to camp for the night." Hisoka glanced up at the darkening sky. 

"Mhm.. Also I changed my mind about about the method, death seems pretty scary and- I think you're worried too." Gon smiled softly.

The clown let out an all too loud sigh of relief at those words. He had been dreading that the boy wouldn't change his mind and that he'd actually have to go through with killing him. Of course the thought of holding death in his arms always seemed so pleasant, but on rare occasions it _did_ hurt. He'd never admit that to anybody though, no matter how hard you'd try to pry it out of him, he wouldn't slip, not even once. Talking about his childhood was one thing, but talking about the past altogether was another and he wasn't going to risk anybody else seeing him in such a vulnerable state.

The boy giggled when Hisoka snapped back out of his thoughts, skipping further along the trail as the two began to look for a place to set up for the night. It was getting dark and as much as the magician enjoyed travelling in he dark, Gon had been running a lot and he himself couldn't deny being tired as well. He followed the young hunter with a smile, already proud of how far they had come. Gon seemed a lot happier since visiting Killua, and truthfully the clown was grateful for that.

\---------

The hunters were currently cooking fish over and open fire quietly, and frankly Hisoka didn't like silence much so he began a conversation that he _wished_ he hadn't gone through with when he saw Gon shift uncomfortably and start to trail off into his own bad memories. It was a simple quesion, with a not so simple answer.

"How did you manage a covenant like that anyways?"

"Well.. I guess I was with Kite who is.. One of my friends and.. And.. Then when we-... When..-" Gon mumbled, trying to think. He was trying to pull himself out of he hole he was currently being dragged into, though of course with his mindset lately of having so many doubts about his self worth, he got pulled down easily, relying on somebody to save him if he got too far into those memories.

"It was my fault but I.."

"No.. No it was Pitou's fault. I- I did the right thing!"

"But.. If I hadn't distracted him.."

"This is all my fault.."

"Pitou had someone they idolized too and I..."

"But they took Kite away!"

"But.. I-.."

"Gon." Hisoka called out softly.

"This is my fault."

"This is _my fault_."

"This is _my fault_."

"This is _**my fault**_ and I should pay for it."

The clown shuffled over, having placed both their dinners on some leaves. He hesitated before pulling the boy close, hushing him. He hated doing this for anybody, but the latter had already helped him so much, it was only fair of him to return the favor.

"I'll bet it isn't any of your faults. Pitou was one of the ants, no? If you killed them then you did what you had to. The ants came here to destroy, so you were only doing what you had to, Gon." 

"If I hadn't been in the way.. If I had just..." The young hunter's voice was faint, short of a whisper.

"Am sure you weren't in the way then, and you surely aren't in the way now. Just breathe, you'll be okay."

"I deserve to-" Gon continued, only to be cut off quickly by the clown, who from the sound of his voice was genuinely worried.

"Don't say something like that. Calm down, you aren't thinking."

The other fell silent, eventually giving in and sobbing into the clown's chest. A rare thing for the both of them, for Gon who hardly ever had somebody to stop him from thinking irrationally, and for the clown who hardly ever offered a shoulder to cry on.

Both of them were hurt, but both of them were learning how to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love Hisoka being a better father than Ging,,
> 
> Anyways it's Gon's turn for angst,,, I enjoy torturing them. Am cruel. Also I apologize if anything is written wrong, I stayed up writing this again so I'm a bit tired lol
> 
> The next chapter will involve Gon learning how to feel about the incident and then a problem will occur,, so stay tuned. :-)


	12. A × Painful × Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon and Hisoka bond for a while and then Gon gets captured by Chrollo so that Hisoka will give up his life. 
> 
> Hisoka takes up the offer.

An hour had already passed and Hisoka was trying his very best to calm the boy. He doubted it would do much at all, but he could do nothing more. 

He was reluctant at first, but seeing Gon continue to cry right there in his arms wasn't all that pleasing. He sighed, listening to the boy break down even more, spluttering out sentences of which only some could be made sense of. 

"E- Everyone wou- would be better off- without me-" 

"Now, now. That isn't true at all." Hisoka lowered his voice, rubbing the younger hunter's back, comforting him as Illumi sometimes did for him whenever he had his moments during the night. 

"Can you explain to me what happened? If so.. Maybe I'll have a better feel of how to help you." 

"I- I was with Kite and..- And Pitou came... I was in the way and- Kite told me to run but- But he got hurt because of me.. 

" W- We got away but I..- I left Kite behind and- and Pitou said they'd help but they- they couldn't do anything- I- I got angry and.. And I formed a covenant that let me use all the N- Nen I'd need to beat them.. I- I used it all.. I- It- It was my fault.. I- I killed K- Kite and- a- and-" 

"Shhhh.." Hisoka pulled him a little closer, "He'd be proud of you, am sure of it.. I mean, I know I am." 

"And you got angry, so what? You're still here aren't you?" 

"You didn't kill Kite. It wasn't your fault." 

"B- But it is-" Gon sobbed, refusing to believe that he didn't cause this, that he wasn't why Kite had died. 

"It's not your fault." Hisoka whispered, his eyelids drooping when the boy denied it again. He repeated the same words, until the young hunter finally started to calm down and stopped denying it, now only sniffling into the former's chest. A part of him sort of wished Ging treated him like this, but he was beyond grateful enough already. 

"D- Do you think Kite would hate me i- if he found out I lost my Nen?" 

"Mmm? Why would he hate you?" Hisoka raised an eyebrow. 

"Because of the covenant.." 

"Oh dear, no. If he was alive and hated you for that? Well I'd have no choice but to kill him a second time." The magician frowned, feeling Gon shudder a little at the sound of 'kill'. 

"A- Are we really going to fight when I get my Nen back?" 

The older hunter went silent, contemplating his next words deeply. He hoped that the boy wouldn't be disappointed. 

"No. Perhaps we can spar? But I can't fight you." 

"I'm actually really glad to hear that, but.." Gon smiled for a moment before his lips pursed into a frown, "Does that mean I'm weak?" 

"If you were weak I wouldn't be here right now.. Besides, you'd probably win." Hisoka chuckled, freezing when Gon clutched his shirt a little tighter. 

"Don't say that." 

"You're implying that you'd die. Don't say that!" 

"Are you worried?" The clown leaned his head back a little, his heart skipping a beat when the boy nodded. There was a hint of anger stirring inside of him, he never meant for this to happen. He never meant for anybody to _care_ about him. 

"Don't be. It's useless. Worry about things that should concern you! I am not worth your time." 

Gon rest his head against the older hunter's chest. It was clear his crying had made him tired, so Hisoka didn't make any fuss about it. 

"You're my friend though. So I'm gonna keep worrying." He yawned. 

"Fine. Do what you want. ♤" 

"Do you think Kite's alive?" Gon mumbled. 

Hisoka picked up his cards, sorting them in silence. He didn't answer for a prolonged period of time, only speaking again after pulling one of the cards out and looking at it for a few minutes. 

"There is a possibility. Reflect on your feelings then we will search." He placed the cards down and returned his arms to their original positions. 

"I hope so.." Gon whispered. 

"Can you tell the future with your cards? Like- Tarot?" 

"Sort of. ♧" 

"Can you do mine?!" The boy grinned, rising his head a little. 

"Tomorrow. Go to sleep." Hisoka huffed. 

"Awww, but now I really wanna know!" The other whined 

"Tomorrow. ♤" 

"Fine." Gon huffed, resting his head once more, eventually drifting off to sleep. 

\--------- 

Gon awoke, hearing heavy breaths that weren't his own right behind him. He was being carried, so he opened his eyes to try and see what was happening. Hisoka was currently running with the boy in his arms and blood trickling from his lips. 

"Oh, good. You're awake. We are currently being chased by the spiders, so if you are able to run, that'd be wonderful. ♡" 

Gon was fast to hop down from his place, noticing he was significantly faster than the clown who was even beginning to slow down. 

"I will stay here, and I will fight them. You need to run." 

"I'm not leaving you here this time!" Gon spluttered out, not a hint of regret in his voice. 

"You need to go _now_ , Gon. Or must I make you?" 

"I- I'm not leaving." The boy shook his head, stumbling back when Chrollo appeared right in front of them. The spider grabbed him, taking him close and holding a knife to his neck. 

"Hisoka. Give us your life." 

"Don't!" Gon yelled. 

"Be quiet." Machi wrapped her Nen strings around the young hunter's wrists and legs, stopping him from moving. 

"He has nothing do to with you. Let him go." Hisoka spoke calmly. 

"I still want to recruit the kid. Maybe he'll accept this time." Nobunaga grinned, stepping forwards with his katana. 

"Get away from him." The clown's voice lowered. 

"Ah. We are both looking for the covenant ring. Perhaps I will meet you there." Chrollo smiled. 

"Unless you give up your life now.. I'll take the boy." 

Hisoka glanced down, his shoulders easing as he made up his mind. He took out a card, peering back up and letting out a chuckle when the members that were currently here started to draw out their weapons or Nen. 

He had no intention of fighting, Chrollo's knife was much too close to Gon's neck. One movement more could get him killed and he wasn't about to risk the life of this kid. 

He held the card to his own neck, his eyes dulling. This pained demeanor was nothing but an act, something that would make the stunt he was about to pull real. 

He wished that he could apologize to Gon for what he was about to do, but in order for the plan to work he couldn't let him know, 

_That he was about to fake his death._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger 😝
> 
> im going to try making the next one longer,, 
> 
> Though this does mean the story is coming to a close soon(mostly because I want to work on my other ones)
> 
> I want to make the next chapter have a lot of description bcs I keep forgetting I need to work on that 
> 
> anyways
> 
> see you next chapter 😍


	13. Hisoka × Calls × Kurapika

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka decides to get Kurapika to use the Judgement Chain on him and starts to doubt his self worth so Gon gets mad at him and then they go find the covenant ring

Chrollo was waiting for the clown to do his part. He wasn't really expecting him to _actually_ do it though, as Hisoka was a man of secrets and lies. But he was wrong, as he watched the magician fall to the ground limp with no sound emerging from his chest, he let the boy go. Gon was fast to run to his side, shaking him desperately. 

"I'm quite disappointed actually-" Chrollo began, only for Gon to slug him in the face. Nobunaga was the one who grabbed hold of the young hunter this time, pulling him back as he tried to throw repeated attacks at the spider. 

Chrollo eventually decided to leave with the others, ordering for Nobunaga to let go of the boy when he did so. Gon only sat there on his knees, staring as they disappeared into the forest. 

There was a quiet noise from behind, but he was too focused on the past to look, only when he heard a cough did he turn to see the sight that awaited him. 

Hisoka looked fine for the most part, already sitting up and currently tying fabric around his neck to stop any excess bleeding. He flinched when the boy hugged him tightly, already threatening to cry. 

"Gon.. Did I scare you?"

"H- How'd you.." Gon sniffled. 

"Oh, my rubber Nen! And lungs, along with my heart, come back to life after I'm dead!" Hisoka exclaimed. 

"Bungee Gum can be very useful. Am glad it worked, I would've hated seeing you so upset again. ♡"

"Mmm.. This is starting to take its toll on me. But to keep you alive I had to do so.. Gon?"

"I'll- I'll kill them." The boy whispered. 

"Gon." 

Hisoka wanted to get Gon out of here for now. It was much too dangerous and he was most likely going to fight the spider, he didn't want the young hunter to get caught up in that. Right now he needed to ease his anger and get him away from the forest somehow.

The boy looked up. 

"Promise me you won't go after the Phantom Troupe. I am willing to get Kurapika to use his Judgement Chain on me in order for these rules to stay in place." 

"B- But I.." Gon murmured. 

"Should you go after them, I will no longer be able to resurrect myself.." Hisoka grabbed his phone and started to scroll down his contacts. 

"Y- You're not actually.."

"Mm, I must. To make sure you don't get yourself killed by the spider. You came too close to death last time, I am not risking that twice." Hisoka sighed. 

"If you come in contact with the spider, run. If the spider takes you, do not make any fuss and wait for me to come. If the spider asks for information about me, do not be afraid to give it."

"If the spider hurts you.."

Even Gon could sense how much bloodlust that was this time. Much more than the other times. 

Hisoka pressed the call button, frowning at the sight of the young hunter's hurt expression. He knew that he hated for this to happen, and honestly he himself did too, but it had to be done in order to keep Gon safe. 

"Mm, is this Kurapika?"

_"Yes. Why are you calling?"_

"I'd like to ask a favor of you. Nothing big, and I can pay you afterwards if you want. With information too."

_"Okay. It depends what the favor is. If it has to do with Gon or Killua that's out of the question."_

"I need you to use the Judgement Chain on my heart."

There was an abrupt pause on the other side of the screen. 

_"Why?"_

"I have a rule I'd like you to set already. If you are willing to do it that'd be great and I can wire you the payment when you decide on it. If you wish for information, I know the whereabouts of one of the scarlet eyes."

There was another pause at the mention of the eyes. 

_"What is the rule?"_

"Gon can not go after the Phantom Troupe. Should he try, I will die." 

_"Why would you want to do that?!"_

"To keep him safe, I have to have rules in place." 

_"Fine.. I will do it."_ Kurapika couldn't feel any deadly intent in the clown's voice, only sorrow and a hint of guilt. So he knew it'd be fine, and he was not going to put Gon in danger by doing this. 

They set up a place to meet up and then Hisoka hang up, ready for Gon to start shouting at him, which he did. He sat there for a while, listening and staying silent. The boy only stopped when he realised that the magician was on the verge of tears. 

"I- I'm sorry-" 

"No, _I'm_ sorry, Gon. ♤"

"I don't know how else I'm meant to keep you safe other than putting my life on the line, but I am still willing to do so."

"You have so many friends who care about you, am sure if _I_ died some would celebrate." 

"B- But you're really strong! A- And- I bet lots of people like you!" Gon winced. 

"I am not strong, and I have been alone for a long time." Hisoka whispered. 

"I do not come out of my battles unscathed.."

"But- there's nothing on you." The boy was cconfused, until the realization dawned on him. 

_Texture Surprise._

He frowned, hugging the clown a little tighter. 

"It's okay though. I trust that you will keep our promise. Now. Lets get going. ♡"

"Just a few more minutes.." Gon whispered. Hisoka found it difficult to decline anything that he said, so he sat there and waited until he felt better. 

\---------

Throughout their journey to the meetup place, Gon was trying his hardest to get Hisoka to stop and think. The clown had already made his mind up though, and he wasn't going to go back on his deal. 

"Gon. I trust you."

"Then why are you doing this?" The boy whined. 

"To get you to stop making brash decisions and use your head. You are stubborn, if I do not set rules into place you _will_ end up going after them. ♤"

"Hisoka. You brought Gon?" Kurapika stepped out from beyond the shadows, an eyebrow raised. 

"Why wouldn't I? We need to leave after this." Hisoka leaned against a wall. 

"Okay. I will hurry with this, then you'll tell me where the eyes are." The chain user walked forward, hand stretching out. He shot his Judgement Chain forward, jabbing the clown in the chest who didn't really seem to mind.

"If Gon pursues the Phantom Troupe, you will die." 

"That's that then." Hisoka turned to look at Gon, who was still saddened by what he had caused. 

He told Kurapika the information and proceeded to leave with the boy, stopping not that far away to check on him. 

"Gon. You better not start blaming yourself again."

" _I_ did this because _I_ felt like it'd be the best thing to do."

"I should've been the one to.." Gon looked down. 

"Don't say that. ♤"

"You're fine with it because you think nobody cares about you and that's not fair!"

"I care about you! So does Illumi, and Leorio too!"

Hisoka looked away. 

"Stop treating yourself like trash! Nobody deserves that not even you!" Gon yelled. 

"You are too sweet.. I most certainly do not deserve you. ♤"

"Well I'm still staying! I have two things to do now.. Get my Nen back and make sure you're happy." The boy grabbed his wrist and dragged him back towards the forest. 

"Where are we going, Gon?"

"To find the covenant ring! I can hold out on my own when I get my Nen.. So you won't have to worry about the Judgement Chain anymore."

"I suppose.. But for our deal. I had something I wanted to ask of you. ◇"

The young hunter hummed lightly. 

"Can I come with you? When you get your Nen back? You're going to the Dark Continent aren't you? ♧"

"Really?!" Gon seemed excited. 

"Mm. I wasn't sure if you'd let me." The clown smiled, "We best hurry. I'd like to get there before the Spiders do."

"Doesn't that count as me pursuing them?" Gon frowned. 

Hisoka shook his head, "We are going to the temple to find the covenant ring, not the Spiders."

"Would you like to race? ♡'

The young hunter nodded, and so the two sped up significantly. 

Hopefully they'd get there before Danchou, but it was unlikely. 

For the tellings of the future were clear, on mentioning the Spider's demise. 

_When the fourth component returns the spider's limbs fade. The spider is failing but it does not give in._

_The head wanders alone but it cannot win. The story tells more than it speaks, scarlet eyes will burn no more, instead being replaced by amber._

_Rage consumes the one bearing red hair, green will return and calm the hurt. The grim reaper rests for tonight._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel bad for gon pls


	14. Fight × To The × Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hisoka fights chrollo, lets his bloodlust take over and finds out he can't kill gon
> 
> he passes out and now there's a monster attached to him

Hisoka was currently heading alone to the abandoned warehouse in which the covenant ring resided in. He had convinced Gon to go get something for him, but of course he only did this so that the boy would be safe. He couldn't risk loosing him should Chrollo actually be waiting there. 

On the way there, he ran into multiple members of the Troupe, killing them almost instantly as his bloodlust started to rise. He tried his best to stay sane, although the clank when Nobunaga's sword hit the ground was continuing to echo in his head, agitating him and making him ache for more blood to spill. 

He arrived, walking in slowly. His eyes darted around the building, scanning for a sign of life. He could see the ring already glowing at the other end of the room, so he made his way there and took it carefully, stopping when he felt the presence of another. 

"Danchou."

"Mm? You already knew...?" The thief found himself amused by this. 

"It's only natural. ♤" Hisoka shoved the ring into his pocket and glanced back to face the other. 

"Lets fight, just you and me."

"Oh, I thought you'd never ask.~ ♡"

They went through a back and forth banter for a while, until Chrollo started getting serious, throwing Hisoka against the wall every time he managed to grab an arm or leg. 

He eventually managed to catch him in a tight space, ramming his fist into the other's diaphragm and watching with a smile as he began to splutter out blood, unable to breathe. 

"That kid.. What was his name? Gon? Yes.. I like him. I think I'll recruit him when you're dead."

The clown's coughs started to twist into laughs. 

"Oh, Danchou.. How cruel. ♤" He tilted his head slowly, "The rest of the Troupe is dead. You don't have anybody."

"I'll kill Gon after you, so that we are even." Chrollo returned the smile, sending the clown flying against the wall again. 

The redhead struggled to stand, making his way across the damp warehouse. Someone had threatened to lay hands on his prey- His friend. He didn't like that, the last thing he needed was getting hurt because of it too. 

"Did you not want a fight?" Chrollo cooed. 

"Shut it." Hisoka wheezed, staggering forward with such rage in his aura that even the Spider shivered. The magician only continued to leer as he carried on forwards. 

"You are so protective of your toys, specifically this one. Is there a reason for that, 4?" 

Hisoka's eyes filled with pure rage when Chrollo mentioned Gon. He was a playing with fire, his tail would get burnt eventually. He always got away with things, it tired the clown. He loved having to chase him around, but now he was dissatisfied. Treating this as a game was fine, but Chrollo had threatened to lay his hands on his kid. It ruined the fun, he cheated the game, and Hisoka could not accept that. It was time for Karma to cradle the already dying spider, it's 12 legs had already been ripped away. Too many. Too many legs. Too many chances. It was all the same. 

This was not Hisoka. His eyes were no longer burning with excitement but with a fiery rage. There was a dangerous abyss now, the flames had began to rise and now the lava was waiting to clutch Chrollo in its grasp, and drag him down to hell where karma was waiting patiently for him. 

_What? What is this?_

Chrollo was afraid. 

_This is not Hisoka._

_This is not Hisoka_. 

_This is not Hisoka._

The words replayed in his mind continuously, but he could not run. He could not move. He could not do anything. His legs were gone and he couldn't do anything. A lone body devoid of limbs. A lone body given a corrupted heart, only beating in moments like this. 

"Are you happy, Danchou?" 

Chrollo did not have an answer. He stepped back. 

_Use your Nen._

_Use your Nen._

_Open your book, and use your Nen._

"I will not repeat myself again. Are you happy, Danchou?" Hisoka asked once more, this time with a sinister tone hiding behind eyes devoid of his usual mischievous look. 

The thought of sinking his nails into the other man's neck, watching the red wine spill, watching death infest his body, licking away at the scent of a corpse, feasting at the sight of a limp body. It filled Hisoka with arousal, and disgust. This spider would be beautiful upon laying on the reaper's doorstep, and it sickened him because it was the truth. 

Yet he craved it. 

He stepped closer, his aura already enough to crush somebody's bones. It was a pity that things had to end this way, but the clown wouldn't take this anymore. His hands wrapped around the spider's neck, nails drawing blood. Danchou had no chance against this, Hisoka was completely overtaken by bloodlust and would stop at nothing until he got the pleasure he wanted. Kuroro doubted he'd even stop for the kid he had been mentoring. The clown's mouth opened slowly to speak once more. 

_"Bullshit."_

_"You promised me a fucking fight. What is this, Danchou? A poor excuse of a funeral?"_

_"I do not have a coffin for you. But I am sure there will be one of just the right size for you in hell."_

\--------- 

Gon's boots sunk into the wet mud as he ran back to the warehouse. He needed to hurry. He hadn't just left because he felt like the clown would get hurt, he _knew_. 

He stopped, looking ahead as he saw a figure. Red hair, bloody clothes, a distinct outfit. Hardly moving. He rushed towards him, pausing in front of him to observe his form. Hisoka's breaths were shallow and uneven, and his bloodlust had not faded. Gon was unsafe being this close, but he was stubborn so he didn't move from his place. 

"What are you.." 

"H- Hisoka.. Calm down, you're really hurt! We can get help if you just-" Gon attempted to get through to him, but the magician sent a punch his way. The boy didn't react much, he knew he if he let the other throw him around, after returning to his senses he'd probably spiral and feel bad about it later.

Hisoka started to walk towards him again, and Gon debated if this was truly him for a moment, but looking in his eyes he noticed there was no light in them like usual. He dashed to the side, still getting slammed into the ground. He spluttered out some blood, but not much to make either of them worry. 

He began to get up, only to be thrown down again, his back hitting the ground with a hard thud. He managed to scamper away, breathing heavily as he leaned against the tree, watching the other's slow movements. 

"A pity that your life must end so soon, _boy_..." Hisoka murmured, walking forwards with not a hint of recognition in his eyes. 

Though, in Gon's eyes, he could only see what had been left of Kite. That puppet, that _fake_. This looked all the same and he was scared, scared because he didn't want to relive this moment. 

There was nothing he could've done to save Kite, but this was Hisoka. 

This was Hisoka and he had to do _something_. 

The clown shot his hands forward, probably aming to slice Gon's arms off, but the boy grabbed his wrists, holding his hands away as much as he could. He was putting most of his strength into this, but without Nen it was a little difficult.

He managed to push him back enough to scramble deeper into the forest. He needed a plan, and fast. Hisoka was quick, much quicker than he was and his senses were sharp. He would have no chance if it weren't for the bond he has formed with him, maybe, just maybe, that'd come in handy.

Footsteps. 

_A plan. I need a plan-_

"Found you.~ ♡" 

Gon looked up, swearing under his breath as he saw the magician. His hand swiped towards his neck, curling around it and pulling him up slowly. The boy looked into his empty eyes for a moment, hope sparking in his chest as the other's grip started to loosen. 

He dropped him. 

"Why can't I.."

"There's something wrong. You fulfill all the requirements of being an easy kill but I.."

"There's something wrong with me..?" Hisoka mumbled, placing a hand on his own chest and stepping back. 

Gon looked up at him, his gaze softening. The clown couldn't kill the boy despite being overrun by bloodlust. He noticed that his amber eyes were starting to light up again, that familiar glisten starting to shine against his eyelashes. 

"No, there's nothing wrong.. Am just..." He glanced down. 

"Are you calmer now?" The young hunter questioned. 

"Mm.. I apologize." Hisoka crouched down to Gon's level, ruffling his hair with a nervous smile, "I never meant to hurt you."

"I'm glad I didn't go through with it.." 

"I don't think I'd be able to handle a scare like that.." He mumbled, voice beginning to shake. 

"W- Why do you look so surprised?" 

"You're crying." Gon frowned. 

"R- Really?" Hisoka whispered, attempting to wipe his eyes. He was still forcing that smile upon his face. He needed to be strong right now, both of them were hurt and he needed to keep himself together so that he wouldn't make things worse. 

"Lets- Lets go. I managed to get the covenant ring.. So, you don't have to worry about that now." He stood, trembling. He held a hand out slowly, watching as the boy took it with hesitancy. They began to head out of the forest, although Hisoka's chest was heavy with unease. 

About halfway to their destination, he stopped, clutching his stomach as he spluttered out more blood. Gon was quick upon noticing that there was something wrong. He had known this as soon as the clown started crying back there in the forest, yet he was too afraid to ask about it. He knew Chrollo had dealt damage, but he didn't know how much of it Hisoka was hiding. And it worried him. 

Even more so when he fell to the side, unconscious. 

\---------

And so, that was how Gon found himself with a half dead clown in the backseat of Leorio's car besides him as he was driven to the hospital. 

"What the hell even happened?"

"I- I don't know.. He fought Chrollo and got hurt, and then his bloodlust got bad.." Gon mumbled. 

"It might take a bit to get there.. So check on him every now and then to make sure he's still breathing atleast." Leorio sighed. 

The boy glanced over, observing the magician carefully and with worry. If this was Killua he probably would've gone mad, but he knew that Hisoka could hold out for now. He was stronger, stronger than both of them were. 

It did take a while for them to arrive, but when they did they were quick to take Hisoka inside. He was attended to quickly, as was Gon. Leorio waited for a while until the boy returned with another nurse. 

"You are Leorio Paladiknight, a friend of the red haired man's, correct?" She questioned with a smile. 

"Mm, that's right." He sighed. 

"We don't have to do much, he just has a few broken bones and not much internal damage which we'll work on, so for the most part he is okay. Though he's come up with a fever and it doesn't seem to be of a cold. Since you're a Zodiac I believe you might have information on what's wrong. Could you come check?" The nurse questioned. 

"Of course.." The other stood slowly, following her and Gon to the room in which Hisoka was staying. 

His eyes widened at the sight before him. He hadn't originally thought it was this bad but there was blood strewn across the floor and bandages everywhere on his body. Even Gon had to take a step back, covering his mouth in what seemed like guilt. 

"Here.. Let me see." Leorio's voice shook while he took some steps closer, resting a hand on the clown's shoulder. His breathing was shallow and quick along with the large amounts of sweat dripping down his forehead. Despite not being awake he still looked exhausted, and it worried the doctor. 

" _Gyo_.."

"Gon! Take a look at this." He exclaimed almost instantly after he had used his Nen. 

The boy walked over swiftly, activating Gyo to have a look at what the issue was. 

There was a strange creature attached to Hisoka's back, a leech like monster that was curling it's disgusting tentacle-like 'hands' around his neck, essentially causing difficulty for him to breathe and probably the thing that had brought a fever upon him. This was Chrollo's doing, it had to be. 

But they had no clue how to stop it, and Hisoka's state was getting _worse_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 4958 of torturing hisoka
> 
> i never meant for this to go on for this long ✋😭 I was gonna end it at 10 chapters but here we are


	15. Gon × Finds × Purger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leorio tries to comfort Hisoka, ends up finding out that he likes hugs. 
> 
> Gon finds the Nen Purger and starts venturing back.

Gon and Leorio were stumped on what to do, having requested for the nurses to leave the room so that they could figure something out. Hisoka seemed to be struggling, his breathing becoming heavier. The boy had attempted to rip the leech creature off, but instead it just bit the clown's shoulder, blood drawing as soon as its teeth met skin. 

Something peculiar happened though.. Hisoka opened his eyes staring at the both of them as something urged him to sit up, yet he seemed to be holding himself back, keeping himself away. His eyes kept switching between guilt and nothing. And that's when it sunk in, Gon finally realised this was the creature that had caused the magician's bloodlust to get so bad, this was the creature still attempting to control him. 

Gon had no choice but to knock him out, something that Hisoka truthfully was greatful for. 

"We need a Nen Purger!" 

"Where the hell would we find one? I- I mean.. Even if we do, it's probably dangerous." Leorio let out a sigh, looking over the clown who was still fighting to keep himself asleep and away from hurting any of them. 

"We have to! He's suffering so that he can keep us safe.. We need to do _something_!" Gon exclaimed. 

"Suffering..?" Leorio whispered, now realising that the boy was indeed right. Gon held a hand to his own chest, staring at Hisoka sadly as he began to speak again. 

"He's trying his best.. And he always tries to he tough, but I'll bet he's in alotta pain right now."

"I'll go out by myself.. I want you to call Kurapika." 

"Kurapika? Why?" The doctor murmured. 

"Hisoka used _Judgement Chain_ on himself. Since the Spiders are dead I want Kurapika to get rid of it." Gon threw his bag over his shoulder and headed smiled back at Leorio, who looked pretty surprised. 

"I'll see you soon then?" He questioned. 

"Un!" The boy nodded, waving and heading off quickly. The nurses didn't question much since he had let them know that he was going to be back soon, and he was gone within minutes. 

Leorio was left to keep Hisoka in check and call the chain user, whenever the clown stirred he'd splutter out reassurance that Gon would be back with a Nen Purger soon even though he had no clue if that was true. 

Kurapika arrived a while later, his eyes resting on the sight upon him, it took some questions before he actually removed the Nen he had placed and proceeded to make his way out of the building as swiftly as he had entered it. 

Leorio had fallen asleep after some hours, and since he was a Pro Hunter as well as a member of the Zodiacs they made no efforts to disturb him, only asking that he would leave a day later so that they could fix Hisoka up a little. 

\---------

Gon was on his way to find the Nen Purger. It took a whole day already to find out where one resided and how to get there. His sorrow was high, unlike his hopes and he couldn't shake the feeling that this was his fault, but then again he knew that Hisoka would've scolded him for thinking that way. He almost found himself saying that the clown was a better father figure than Ging ever had been, but reminded himself that Hisoka would probably scold him for saying that too. The magician was closed off and whished for no connections to anybody, yet he had risked his life for Gon. 

There was good in Hisoka's heart, but it was difficult to find. The clown was afraid of the feeling, he had never felt care for another so he was confused and scared. But that wouldn't stop him from doing everything in his power to keep them safe and away from whatever beast he was. Gon was stubborn, and decided to stay, to watch Hisoka grow into a mentor. Illumi was similar, and eventually the two would grow to realise that there'd be difficulty upon completing the contract.

The boy was on a journey to save Hisoka, but they both knew all well that once the Nen was removed that wouldn't be enough to drag him out of the hell he had been living in. Hisoka almost considered telling Gon about his past, but he kept his mouth shut so that he didn't water his growing affection for the young hunter. 

He couldn't kill him and that was final. 

And so, Gon journeyed on for two days to find the Nen Purger. He received no panicked calls from the doctor so he assumed the best on their side, and went to knock on the door of the man he had been searching for. A cloaked figure opened it, staring down at him with beady eyes. He then nodded and held his hands out. 

"O- Oh! It's not me who has the Nen.." Gon said quickly. 

"Who..?" The man whispered. 

"M- My friend Hisoka. He's back at the hospital in Mitsuaba." 

"Hisoka.." The Nen Purger repeated. 

"I know he can be pretty scary I'd you've already met him.. But please do something!" The young hunter was prepared to go on his knees and _beg_ for him to help, but he didn't need to luckily. The man gave a nod and they began to head back to Mitsuaba, Gon just hoped Hisoka would be able to hold out until then, to stop himself from hurting anybody. 

\---------

"H- Hisoka-" 

"You.. L.. L... L..." The clown grinned, sitting up right with a dark look on his face. He was losing himself now, and Leorio didn't know what to do. 

"Leo.." Hisoka stood, his stance wobbly and uneven. The doctor could tell he was still attempting to hold himself back. 

It wasn't working. 

Oh, but the doctor wasn't the type to run away, of course not. In fact, he rushed straight forward, grabbing the magician's collar and pulling him close. 

"GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF DAMN IT!" 

"Fun.. So fun... What game.. Shall we play today? ♡"

"Murder..?"

"HISOKA!" Leorio screamed. 

He felt the other loosen against his grip, beginning to fall forward with pained breaths. 

"I- I'm.. I'm- Sorry, Leorio.. ♤"

"You're.. Trying at least, aren't you?" The younger man murmured. 

"But of course.." Hisoka answered quietly. 

Leorio simply pursed his lips into a soft frown, holding Hisoka close for a moment before he said something that he knew he'd regret. 

"It's- fine to give up, Hisoka. You'll lose control again anyways, so this'll make things easier for ya."

"What are you saying, Leorio? ♤"

"Gon will be back soon, and I hate seeing you like this so just.. Let it take over, for now." 

"I refuse.." Hisoka mumbled. 

"I will not put yours or Gon's life in danger by doing something so idiotic."

"I can hold you off, Hisoka. This is as tiring for you as it is for me. I know it is." Leorio whispered. He soon felt the clown relax against his touch, having genuinely given up. In a way Leorio was thankful, but in another he needed to think of a way to hold him back for now. He didn't know how long Gon would take to return, and hoped that Hisoka would go easy on him in this violent state even though from the sounds of it, his bloodlust was terrifying. 

Though, as he waited a while longer, there was no trace of the bloodlust he had been expecting. His stomach churned at the thought that Hisoka had already done it, and he just hadn't realized it yet.. But as he gazed down to rest his eyes on the clown, he noticed that the other was simply basking in his arms as if he were never hurt anyways. 

"Hisoka?"

"I'll.. Kill you soon... Not yet.~ ♡"

There was a hint of bloodlust tracing his voice, yet it seemed the leech creature could not operate properly if the victim was much too calm. And so this would have to do. Leorio had a feeling as soon as he pulled away, Hisoka would go haywire. He'd have to hold him like this for as long as he could, until his arms got tired, 

Or until the creature decided that was enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Augh
> 
> I keep forgetting to write this
> 
> hisoka likes cuddles don't deny it
> 
> Gon will be back soon and clown man is trying his best
> 
> just a warning that one of them will probably get hurt 😟

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry this was so short, I didn't have many ideas but I'll try to make the next chapter a little longer. 
> 
> Killua and the others may end up appearing some time later on but it's unlikely since I'm not sure how to write them, but I can assure you that Leorio will appear since he's one of my favorites-- and so will the phantom troupe since everyone seems to like them so much. 
> 
> See you next chapter!


End file.
